


penance in dust and ash

by cschoolgirl



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: AU, F/M, Happy Ending, Smut, shipper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-05-21
Packaged: 2019-11-12 13:16:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 24,822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18011594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cschoolgirl/pseuds/cschoolgirl
Summary: Logan wanted Rogue to warm his bed, but he got more than he bargained for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The title comes from Job 42:6. A huge thank you to both Nebelwerfer42 and RogueLotus for helping me make this shiny.
> 
> * * *

~~1 South - 1st floor Boy’s bathroom urinal~~  
~~2 Main Hall doorknob~~  
~~3 S. 1st floor urinal~~  
~~4 Main Hall loose banister~~  
~~5 Girls’ dorm Rm 12 outlet~~  
~~6 Xavier’s study student desk~~  
7 faucet Storm’s room  
8 Rec. room lights  
9 ~~STUPID BOYS!!~~ Urinal

The handwriting was somewhere between print and script, with a definite feminine flourish. Judging by the last item, the pressure with which it was written, she had a temper. Despite the dust and machinery in the boiler room, he thought he caught a light, fresh scent left by the writer. 

Logan put the list back on the workbench; there would be plenty of time for that after he unpacked. Xavier had said a uniform wasn’t necessary when he’d been hired, but Logan had found several used work shirts at a thrift store that fit the bill. They went with the beat-up pickup sitting outside. If he was to be the maintenance man, he could at least pretend to play the part.

The little suite apartment that came with the job wasn’t much; kitchenette, a living area and a separate bedroom with a private bathroom. He had stayed in worse and this was out of the way and quiet. He tossed his duffle on the bed, putting his meager belongings away. It wasn’t much, but he didn’t figure he would need a lot for this assignment.  

Xavier had accepted his work history with few questions. Logan was sure there had been strings pulled by SHIELD to leave the powerful telepath unsuspecting, wasn’t like they could probe his adamantium laced skull for answers anyway. Didn’t matter, he didn’t plan on being there much more than six months, maybe a year at the most if he found a reason to take his time. If the rumors were correct about the school, it would only be a matter of time before he substantiated them.

This was almost a cushy job. Infiltrate Xavier’s School for the Gifted and find out if the school was a cover for an elite team of vigilantes. After that, he would file a report with SHIELD and go on to his next assignment.

Time to get into the role. Pulling a work shirt on, he walked to the adjoining boiler room in search of tools. He found what he needed easily enough and list in hand; he headed to the secretary’s office for directions.

* * *

Rogue walked into Storm’s suite to find long legs sticking out from underneath the kitchen sink. The well-worn denim hugged some fine, muscular thighs. Nice change from Mr. Jenkins’ baggy, old man pants.  

“Mr. Logan?” she ventured. 

There was an answering grunt, followed by something mumbled and a metal on metal sound.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” She tried unsuccessfully to turn her eyes away from the toned set of abs staring at her from where Mr. Logan’s shirt had ridden up. Well, that was better than plumber’s crack. Though if his front was anything to go by, maybe she should check out his backside before dismissing it.

“Just Logan.” He scooted out from under the cabinet, resting back on his elbows to take in the owner of the Southern accent. If his nose didn’t deceive him, this was also the writer of his to-do list.

His eyes traveled up the young woman’s body, from booted feet to white-streaked hair. Noting the ample curves and pretty features. She wasn’t a classic movie star beauty like the Jean Grey he’d met earlier. Neither was she exotic like Storm who had opened this suite’s door.

There was something else about her that drew his attention. She blushed prettily under his gaze, something the older women hadn’t done. Hmmm, maybe he’d found someone to keep him entertained during his stay.  

“Oh.” Rogue cleared her throat. She felt like an idiot, her mind drawing a blank as he continued to assess her; she couldn’t remember the last time someone had made her hot with just a look. Lord have mercy, but this man knew how to make a woman feel wanted. She flushed an even deeper shade of red. 

“Where are my manners?” she stammered. “I’m Rogue.” Hot flashes? Surely she was too young for those. “You must have found my note, Logan.”

He liked the way his name tumbled from her lips and wanted to know if his name would sound the same when she was underneath him. Smiling, he put the wrench in the toolbox. He was getting ahead of himself. First, he would need to see how far her interest went before charming her into his bed.

“I take it you’ve been filling in since Mr. Jenkins retired.” He could fake curiosity because he had a feeling he would need to take a little more time with this one than usual. 

“Yep, I used to help him out when I could and it just naturally fell to me.” Rogue could feel him watching her every move and suddenly she didn’t know what to do with her hands or how to stand naturally. “If you want, I can show you around.”

Logan would like that very much, he had a thing or two he could show her too. He watched her turn toward the door and decided he wouldn’t mind following those swaying hips anywhere. 

“That sounds like a good idea.” Logan cleaned up the area. He already knew where the next place on the list was, but wouldn’t mind following that sweet ass around the mansion. “Lead the way, Darlin’.” 

* * *

“Hey, you haven’t told us about the maintenance man, Chica.” Jubilee had run out of things to talk about. She turned in her seat to get a better look at Rogue sitting behind Storm.

Rogue shrugged. She didn’t want to tell them she found herself flustered in his presence and unable to string two thoughts together, even after two months. There had been several vague but pleasant dreams that left her embarrassed to be in his presence the next day. “Uhm…he’s more efficient than Mr. Jenkins.”

“Girl, why you got to tease?” Jubilee whined from the co-pilot’s seat. “You know what I mean. Does he have any powers? Because so far as I’ve noticed he might have better hearing.” Pausing, she fanned herself. “And super sex appeal. I bet he knows how to show a girl a good time.”

“I…a…” Rogue was mortified, not that her mind hadn’t wondered that way. She’d helped Mr. Jenkins because he would leave tools everywhere and forget to turn off the electricity when working on outlets.  

But Logan, he was a different story. In the beginning, she’d helped him navigate the mansion; he had an excellent sense of direction and quickly knew it as well as longtime residents. Now she followed him around on the pretense of helping. Mainly it was an excuse to fill up her spare time and it didn’t hurt that she could admire him while he worked, though he seemed to have a sixth sense and had caught her daydreaming about him. Good thing she didn’t drool or that would have been a dead give away. 

Storm spoke up, saving Rogue from further embarrassment. “I don’t know what to think of him yet.” She laughed lightly, “I trust the faucet he fixed will never leak again, but with my heart…”

Jubilee threw up her hands in disgust. “Have I taught you guys nothing. Who said anything about my heart? But that man can scratch my itch anytime.” She faked a few breathless noises, making both Rogue and Storm laugh. 

As they unbuckled, she continued, “It doesn’t matter anyway, because the way he keeps eyeing you, babe, he wants to scratch your itch.” Jubilee emphasized her point my elbowing Rogue as they walked down the ramp. Storm was in the lead nodding in agreement.

Rogue didn’t know what Jubilee was talking about. Oh sure, Logan winked at her, said things with a sexual innuendo, and made her blush. But she’d seen him flirt with all the willing women that way. It wasn’t like she was going to get a chance; Logan was out of her league. He would want a woman with experience, she imagined her lack of skill would be frustrating for him.

Her only experience with men amounted to holding hands with Bobby in high school and teasing Gambit. The latter never went past kissing due to her lack of control or their incompatibility or both. Who was she kidding? Her tendency to hold people at arm’s length all the time--that was the reason more than anything. She knew she could never flippantly give her heart to anybody just because they were charming.

If nothing else Rogue’s mutation had taught her to be careful, not only with her movements but also her attachments. She had learned the hard way, more than once, that the exterior didn’t always reflect what was inside. Friends were chosen carefully, no less consideration would go into the choosing of a lover.

Logan was something to behold, muscles straining as he powered off a rusty bolt or the wild hair she was forever tempted to run her fingers through. However, until he was willing to put the same singular concentration on her as he did his work and not just the sex that could be had, things between them would remain as they were.


	2. Chapter 2

“Hold your horses!” Logan called, rolling out of bed and pulling on his pants. Growling on the way to the door, five thirty a.m. on a Saturday morning. It better not be Mr. Jean Grey.  

Rogue jumped as the door swung open and she was greeted with a harsh, “What?”

There stood Logan, no shirt, tousled hair, and unbuttoned jeans threatening to slip from his hips. Her eyes swept over his chest again, following the hair down to where it disappeared under the denim fabric. Think, Rogue, think. You had a reason for being here and it was not to lust after the maintenance man.

Logan’s sour mood at being woken up so early on his day off faded at the sight before him. Rogue must have been pounding on his door with all her might. She probably didn’t weigh much over a hundred pounds soaking wet and she was soaking wet. It looked like she’d forgotten to take her pj’s off before stepping into the shower.

A little smile lifted the corners of his mouth. He’d always thought she had a nice rack, but the erect nipples jutting out from her wet top made him believe his original assessment of nice was too low. The way her eyes traveled over his body, he knew he wasn’t alone in reassessing.

He didn’t mind, she could look all she wanted. She could do more than look if she wanted. The temper flared in her eyes at being caught.

“You look madder than a wet hen,” he said with a chuckle.

Eyes narrowing, Rogue knew she shouldn’t have been staring and felt her temper get the best of her. “If I could fix it, I wouldn’t be down here getting your sorry ass,” she snapped. 

He laughed again, and she immediately felt bad. But his smile turned softer, almost sympathetic, not the hard callous smile he usually put on. No, not the smile that said he knew how to give women what they wanted, this smile was friendly, almost affectionate.

“Wait a minute.” Logan turned, leaving the door open for her to follow. Timidly she stepped in, not venturing further. In his three months at the mansion, Logan had carefully guarded his privacy. He let no one besides her into the boiler room, and she didn’t go there without him. He was even more suspicious of those trying to peer into his apartment.

Rogue didn’t know what he was hiding; the man was meticulous and kept his rooms neat and clean. He’d also spent time organizing the tools kept in the boiler room. Everything had its place and everything was in its place. The old truck parked in the back showed the same care, though it evidently had many miles on it and the exterior was rough, it ran smoothly.

He returned from the bedroom, having pulled on boots and a t-shirt. “Showerhead?”

“Yeah.” Although he didn’t stare as he went past to get his tools, she felt self-conscious and crossed her arms over her chest. She didn’t need to advertise how chilled she was.

When he’d retrieved his tools, he let her lead them to her room. Not that he didn’t know where it was; Logan had sniffed that out the first day after they met. Never hurt to know where your quarry hid. She had one of the smaller suites without the kitchenette.

Upon entering he noticed the clutter. He sensed her wince and told himself it wasn’t bad. Books, DVDs, and various other items were piled on the nightstand, coffee table, and desk. It wasn’t like her dirty clothes were on the floor or half-eaten food was lying about. He’d been in a good share of the rooms in the dorms by now and comparatively, hers was clean. Not up to his standards, but completely livable.

Rogue felt the urge to tidy her room. Empathy for his privacy concerns welled up in her. He was probably the first person in years that had actually been in her room when she wasn’t prepared. Jubilee regularly burst in unannounced, but that was Jubes and she rarely judged anyone by their housekeeping abilities.

Why was she worrying anyway? It wasn’t like there would be any housekeeping in Logan’s and her future. Their future, she laughed inwardly to keep from thinking of it. Rogue wouldn’t deny he intrigued her. Something about him was on the edge of dangerous, no matter how well he contained it. Yet there was something else there that spoke to her. Lord knew he didn’t show it often, and he certainly didn’t show it intentionally, but once in a while, she saw it...a glimpse of something. Something that told her that there was more to this man than his gruff exterior.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have called you that.” There was a grunt, but she couldn’t tell if it was for her or the showerhead that was stuck in place.

Logan didn’t feel the need to apologize, what he’d said had been true. Though thinking back, she had been more like a wet kitten, with those big eyes, than a hen. Those eyes that were constantly on him, searching for god knew what. It made him want to protect her and he did not coddle women. 

The type of women he usually consorted with knew this and were more than happy to take the physical pleasures he offered without seeking more. Rogue was not the type of woman he usually consorted with, though. She’d want more than what he’d be able to offer, take time he didn’t usually give. 

Logan knew what she was searching for. It was the same thing every good woman wanted. He hated to break it to her, there was more bad than good in his soul. The honor code he lived by probably wasn’t up to her morals. He knew some of what he’d done, some of what he would do in the future, for the greater good; wouldn’t sit right with her. 

It was at those times that he needed to remind himself and her of who he was. It was all too easy to do. A rude comment; a hand landing in an inappropriate place; or her least favorite, taking a good leer at another woman right in front of her. That one always put her off.

He mentally shook himself. Logan didn’t usually apologize, but she affected him differently and he felt the need to set things right for her. Not to mention if he was looking for Rogue to warm his bed anytime soon it would be a good first step. Though he wasn’t sure that was the main reason for the attraction anymore. “I shouldn’t have laughed at you.” 

She gave him a wan smile. “My Mama always accused me of being easy to rile up.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her cross her arms, gripping them as if she was putting up a barrier. Sensing her discomfort at the mention of her mother, he changed the subject. If his goal was to get her into bed he best not push her in the wrong direction. “How’d you become the maintenance man’s helper?”

“My grandparents took care of me when I was little. Gramps was the local handyman and I went everywhere with him. Picked up a lot of how-to-knowledge. When I got here, I would fix things. After a while, I started helping Mr. Jenkins on account of him being so forgetful.” It had been a natural progression and one that had helped her feel like she contributed to life at the mansion.

Logan handed her the old showerhead and unwrapped the new one. “Could you have fixed that one?”

She examined it. “Temporarily at least.”  

“So you just wanted to see me half-dressed?” he asked, quirking an eyebrow at her.  
   
“No,” she laughed lightly, a sound he enjoyed way too much, it soothed the feral beast inside. “I’m not tall enough. The half-dressed part was a bonus.”

Rogue couldn’t believe she’d said the last bit out loud and felt the burn on her cheeks. Though it got a genuine snort of laughter from Logan, so it might have been worth it. She smiled at him and he returned the smile. Flirting was not her forte, but somehow he made it easier. If she flubbed it, he would act as if she’d pulled it off perfectly. Occasionally she was worried he had ulterior motives, but she didn’t have enough experience flirting to tell when he was being sincere or not.

Logan stepped out of the shower and put his tools away. Her bathroom was small and when he turned to face her, she was only a couple of inches from him. A nervous smile played on her lips and he returned it with a lopsided grin. This time she wasn’t searching for the good man, but sizing him up as a partner. He’d often smelled her interest in him when she “helped” him around the mansion. It was no different right now.  

Reaching up, she absently flicked a few droplets of water from his hair. Her mouth was beautiful and he wanted to know if her lips were as lush and soft as they looked. Carefully, so as not to spook her, he closed the distance between them. Her eyes widened, breath quickening; classic signs he was on the right track.

Gently he told himself, she looked like the type that would want things slow and romantic. The type he usually avoided. He brushed his lips across hers; they were hot and beckoned to him. She didn’t let him move away instead she eagerly opened her mouth for him, instinctively sinking her fingers into his hair.

Logan was a great kisser, she’d give him that. It had been a while since she’d been kissed, but she was positive he beat them all hands down. She’d been telling herself for weeks now that any interest in him was foolish. Her heart wasn’t quite convinced and she could feel it start to sway in his favor.

His strong hands came to rest on her waist and she thought she would melt. Her shirt had ridden up and the skin on skin contact was almost more than she could handle. Warmth radiated out from him and began to pool low in her belly.

Rogue drew the line when his fingers slipped under the waistband of the PJ pants. She gently moved his hand back to its original position. She was enjoying the kiss, but she also didn’t want to move so fast that he would have no respect for her. She wanted to be more than another notch behind that knowing smile.

The time to teach him a lesson came when his entire hand slipped under her waistband a second time. The move made her legs turn to jelly and the thoughts that raced through her head... she knew his mind was on the same track with the continued movement of his hand. And this was no way to gain his respect. She turned on her mutation and dropped him to his knees.  

“Do not mistake me for a floozy who will spread her legs at the first kiss,” she stated, stepping away from him. He was leaning with one hand on the wall for support and she felt this was a position that a man like Logan didn’t take lightly. Her message had been received, her work here was done, and she stomped off into the other room.

Logan sucked in a heavy breath. He’d felt something like an electrical jolt and then all the energy being sapped from him. That girl, correction woman, packed one hell of a punch. If he’d been prepared he wouldn’t have dropped, but as usual in her presence, he wasn’t on guard like he should be. 

He was suddenly laughing. “I’ll keep that in mind, Darlin’.”

When his head cleared, he grabbed his toolbox and walked through the other room. He threw her a knowing smile as he passed by. She may have dropped him like a sack of potatoes, but his nose didn’t lie. Rogue still wanted him, not to mention that the kiss was too passionate to signal anything else.

She felt like slamming the door but thought better of it. There was no need to draw unwanted attention at such an early hour. She cursed herself for falling for him so easily. What had she been thinking? Logan wasn’t serious, he just liked flirting with her to pass the time. 

Yet at times she caught him looking at her, his eyes softening just a bit. The leering he did and the comments about other women had lost some of their hard edge. It was a practiced tactic, one she suspected he used to keep women like herself at a distance. 

She signed heavily, her emotions in a bit of a turmoil. It bothered her that she still thought so little of him after all this time. Her Mama was right, she was easily riled, and this was her way of striking back. Because despite appearances and teenage girls falling all over themselves to gape at him, she knew for a fact he hadn’t laid a finger on anyone at the mansion. Unless he went to see a woman every Friday night, he wasn’t a player.

Maybe she should take a peek at the memories she absorbed from him. Just for research purposes, to find out what his intentions toward her were. She hated to admit it, but she had feelings for him. His touch still lingered though he was gone and the way he looked at her, sometimes there was something more there than sexual desire.

Standing under the spray of the shower, she cursed again. Damned her and her luck when it came to men, always doubting herself and their intentions. Maybe this time she would just have to learn to trust her heart. 


	3. Chapter 3

“Fuck that shit!” Logan said under his breath as he slammed the tools down on the workbench. His head snapped around at the surprised gasp at the back of the room. Growling, he stalked past the boiler to glare at the occupant of the old loveseat in the corner.  

“I’m sorry…I’ll leave,” Rogue said hurriedly. “This was always my quiet place, I’d hoped you wouldn’t mind.” She unfolded her legs to stand.

Silently he swore at being too distracted to sense someone had breached his sanctum. He could see there had been a tear or two shed and her usual fire was missing. Normally he would have used this opportunity to make some inroads on getting her in his bed, but he told himself he didn’t have time, it was Friday after all.

“Stay.” He sat down heavily beside her. They’d fallen back into a comfortable pattern after the kiss. She still helped him out, keeping an easy flow of conversations and he did his best to not do anything to put her off. They worked well together, and he hated to ruin the budding trust because he was pissy. “So what’s so bad you came crawlin’ back here in this corner?”

“Oh, nothing big. Almost killed someone. How about you?” She said it with a straight face as if it happened all the time.

“An electrical problem I can’t track down.” He left out the part about getting a shock and how that was never nice with his metal skeleton. Raising an eyebrow, he looked at her. “Though at the moment, I’m having a hard time believing you tried to kill someone.”

Rogue sighed heavily. “More like teamwork ain’t one of my strengths, especially after absorbing someone.” That was an understatement, she’d let her old affection for Bobby get in the way of the use of his power. She’d been a little too curious at his thoughts of her and it hadn’t gone well as she absorbed more power than needed.

“Absorbing?” he asked. He’d been curious since the kiss. Her mutation wasn’t as obvious as some of the others and besides sapping his strength he hadn’t been able to discover her abilities. Or at least being a good kisser wasn’t a mutation he’d heard of.

“Skin to skin contact and I can take a person’s memories and mutation.” She felt him tense and rushed to reassure him she hadn’t invaded his privacy. “Don’t worry. All I got from you was that you like beer and fighting and have some heightened sense. It’s all faded now.” His memories had been too jumbled to make head or tails of and she’d been glad at the time that the shower was fixed so it could drown out most of the extra senses.

Logan nodded, relieved that his mission wasn’t exposed by his need to kiss a girl. They’d sent him in specifically because it was hard for telepaths to get a good read off of him. Cap would have had a good laugh if the mission were scrubbed because of a kiss.

“How does that equate to you killing someone?”

“I…” Rogue paused. Careful she reminded herself. There were certain topics he was not supposed to know about, like the X-Men. “Mr. Summers is fond of team-building exercises. This one had a set goal, and I went off script. It caused a few problems and an unexpected outcome.” She felt like she’d channeled Mr. Summers, no matter it left things sufficiently vague. “Anyway, I’m a loser who can’t fit into polite society.”

He knew he should quash the feeling to comfort her; it would only lead to complications later on. But his better judgment overrode everything else when he was around her. She brought out feelings he hadn’t thought of in a long time, made him feel soft and want things that he shouldn’t. Things that made a man put down roots and make promises he couldn’t possibly keep.

“You’re not a loser and polite society don’t give two shits about us. Playing nice to get a pat on the head or to get used…” He moved his arm to the side and released the claws. “…it’s a dead end.” He chalked up another point in her favor as she didn’t react to the appearance of his claws.

“Oh, Logan.” That searching look again and something else. Not pity or disgust, but a real look of concern. He knew from the way her head was tilted and how she leaned into him that he could have her in his bed in minutes. A few carefully chosen words, a light touch, and she would be putty in his hands.

“Fuck polite society.” Retracting the claws, he let the moment pass and they sat in silence. He was glad that she didn’t ask about the claws, the memories were fuzzy and he didn’t want to rehash any of it right now. 

Ever since getting settled into his job at the school, he’d wondered what the hell he was still doing with a government group after government officials had made him into a weapon. He knew part of his reason was that it fit his particular skill set easily but he didn’t have to be connected to the government for that. If he only wanted to fight, there were plenty of opportunities all over the world to engage in that lifestyle. Logan’s real concern these days was that here at the school he might have found something elusive that he didn’t realize he was seeking. 

No wonder, Rogue thought, the memories she picked up from him were so mixed up, the amount of pain involved with a procedure that put metal like that into his body just might leave some holes from the trauma. She thought about asking, but from his reaction earlier at someone knowing his past beyond other maintenance jobs and some of the stories he told of aimless drifting, she kept silent. He would open up when and if he was ready. 

Thinking of what little she knew of his life, she turned to something she knew he wouldn’t mind discussing. “Being Friday, I’d ask you if you wanted to go get a drink, but -“

Logan cut her off. “Hold that thought.” He disappeared into his apartment and soon returned with two bottles. Rogue took the Molson offered her.

“Can’t on Fridays,” he said, taking a swig and sitting back down. She just might be a keeper since she thought of getting a drink with him at the end of a bad day. He quickly reminded himself that his time here was short and he shouldn’t be thinking of her in any long-term capacity. 

“Hot date?” This was her chance to find out about a possible woman. What other reason could he have for being so adamant about his Friday nights? Not that she cared, it was best to keep reminding herself of that so it wouldn’t hurt as much when he didn’t care. 

“No,” he snorted. “Cap’s a good-looking guy, but it’s just a drink with an old buddy. Sometimes we play poker or shoot a round of pool.”

“Oh,” her heart unexpectedly soared. “You have a friend,” she teased, leaning into him. “That’s two if you count me?”

“You count,” he said finishing off his beer. He hadn’t put too much thought into it before, but he did enjoy spending his time with her, she probably wouldn’t be out of place with Cap and him at the bar either. Glancing at her half-full bottle, he asked, “Not much of a beer drinker?”

Smiling, she handed the bottle to him and shrugged. “Not sure. Like I was going to say earlier, I’m not twenty-one yet. Plus, I never went through the rebellious teenage drinking years.”

“When do you turn twenty-one?” He was a little surprised he was usually a better judge of age. Maybe he’d gauged her older due to the fact that she acted more mature than some of her peers.

“Next Saturday.”

“Well then, stop by next Saturday evening and we’ll get you a real drink.”


	4. Chapter 4

Rogue rushed down the stairs toward Logan’s place. She’d told Mr. Summers that she had a prior engagement and she’d swear he’d purposely flown the jet as slow as possible on the return trip.  

After cleaning up quickly, she’d thrown on her clothes from earlier, yoga pants and t-shirt. Way to impress the man in your life. You go girl. She’d grabbed a sandwich from the kitchen and shoved the last bite in her mouth as she went. Even as a non-drinker she knew not to drink on an empty stomach.

Oh Lord girl, what are you doing? More and more she’d cleared her schedule to be with him and she’d noticed here lately that he waited for her even if he didn’t really need her help. They lingered longer on jobs, the soft look appeared more often and he quit trying to distance himself. She’d decided earlier in the week to get a birthday kiss and follow it wherever it led. Her heart was not to be given lightly, but Logan fascinated her, set her pulse racing and put butterflies in her gut. Those little touches he was so good at innocently giving sent an odd sort of heat throughout her body.

At the first knock on the door, he told her to enter. As she shut the door behind her, he moved away from the counter. There sat a cupcake with a lit candle in it. Rogue couldn’t help but smile; he’d bought her a cupcake. The gruff loner of a maintenance man had got her a cupcake.

Past the small cake on the back counter was a whole box of them. These weren’t any old cupcakes, no childish colors, and sprinkles for her. No, these appeared to be an expensive dozen from that bakery in the city.

“Logan, I don’t know what to say.” She gave him a hug and a peck on the cheek. For a second, she thought he was embarrassed, but that was impossible. In the almost four months he’d been at the mansion, he had yet to even show a tiny hint that he could be embarrassed.

“You better blow out the candle before it gets wax all over the frosting.” Walking around the counter, he brought out three glasses and bottles of whiskey. Then he put the container of cupcakes by the other. “I took you for a dark chocolate kind of woman, but thought it best to cover all the bases.”

Rogue took a bite, while he leaned back and watched her. “Aren’t you going to have one?”

“Not much of a cake eater.” Although he was getting a kick out of watching her devour it.

“You want a bite?” She held out the cupcake, licking her fingers as she did so. “It’s excellent.”

Logan swallowed hard; there was more temptation there than he wanted to admit. “No, I’m good.” What happened to his bed-warming plan? What made him hesitate with Rogue?  

He opened a bottle and poured a small amount into one of the glasses. “Bourbon,” he said pushing the glass toward her. “Don’t know if it goes with chocolate.”

Picking up the glass, she winked at him “Sugar, everything goes with chocolate.”

The way she drawled the sugar reminded him of when they met and how he’d wondered if her accent would sound as smooth during sex. He was getting hard from the thought of it. Cursing himself mentally, he poured a second glass from another bottle. This was her birthday, there would be no taking advantage of her on her birthday. He could at least think of someone else for a little while.

“This one is scotch,” he said, setting the glass next to her.

She finished the cupcake and took a sip of the liquor. “I’d have to say the scotch is better with the sugary frosting.” He offered a rye, which she sampled. “Nope, the scotch. Which one do you like best?”

Taking a seat on the stool beside her, he picked up the unfinished drink. “I’ll finish off the bourbon tonight.”

She took another sip of the scotch. “Is that all you want tonight?”

Logan stared back down at the glass in his hand. This was the place he should make his move, in the past he would have. However, this was Rogue, she was a friend now. Those were few and far between for him and if he needed his bed warmed he didn’t need to ruin a friendship to do that.

Impatient for an answer, she’d taken his glass and set it on the counter. Then she stood between his knees, a hand on his sideburn.

“Rogue…” He’d lied to her so much by this point that he didn’t know if he should even dare to tell her the truth. He wanted her, wanted her badly, but not like this. Not when almost everything she knew about him was a lie.

She put a finger to his lips to keep him from saying whatever it was he thought she needed to hear. The man sitting in front of her was the man she was falling in love with, not that persona he put on for the mansion. This was the same man who had trusted her with his privacy and had let her in.

“Marie,” she said firmly.

He knew where he stood with her by the way she said her real name. She believed him to be trustworthy. This was her closest held secret, the one thing she had probably told no one else in years.

Logan settled his hands on her hips, whether to pull her closer or push her away, he couldn’t have said. He only knew he needed to touch her. She took the opportunity to press her lips to his.  

Just a kiss he thought as he ran his tongue along hers. Scotch, chocolate, and Marie.  

Suddenly he couldn’t get enough and pulled her closer. As she pressed herself against him, he remembered the last time they kissed and kept his hands in one place. He didn’t want this kiss to end abruptly.

Her kisses were intoxicating, it had nothing to do with the drink he’d had and everything to do with the whimpering sounds she made. The soft noises were stirring feelings in him he didn’t associate with sex. A driving need, always, but not this kind of caring... tenderness; and it gave him pause.

Despite his best intentions his hand had snuck up under her shirt. Her skin was soft and warm. His other hand found the small of her back, caressing her.

Rogue pulled away, breathing heavily. Giving him a small smile, she slipped her t-shirt off and laid it on the bar. His slight frown concerned her. Had she misread all the signals? She often, even since dropping him to his knees, she got the distinct impression he wanted her. Or was she merely projecting her own desires onto him?

“Logan? I thought…,” she drifted off, afraid she had humiliated herself.

Her nipples were pushing against the silky fabric of her bra mere inches from his fingertips. “No, I want you alright,” his voice was thick with the familiar need.

“If you’re worried, I haven’t had too much to drink.”

“Good to know. But I didn’t want you to think I was treating you like a floozy.” He was dead serious. For the first time he could remember, he was concerned with how his sexual partner felt about the situation. Marie was making sex complicated, but he found he didn’t mind.

“Okay.” Her smile returned. Reaching behind her back, she unhooked her bra and put it with her shirt. She guided his hands to her breasts. “I’ll let you know when you make me feel like a floozy.”

She sucked in a breath as he stooped to nuzzle her breasts. Wanting to encourage him, she ran her fingers through his hair and down over his shoulders, pushing his flannel shirt down. He was setting fire to her insides and she was positive this time she would melt.

She was completely convinced he was the right man, the one she could trust her heart to. He might not understand yet, but he could trust his heart with her too.

As pleasurable as this was, she wanted more. The fire burning inside wasn’t going to be extinguished in this manner. She shoved his flannel shirt all the way off, then got him to disengage long enough to tug off his wife-beater. He pushed down the waistband of her pants and she wiggled out of them, kicking off her shoes as she did so.

He leaned in for a kiss, but she grabbed his hand, pulling him toward the bedroom. He went willingly enough, but he could tell that he wasn’t going to make it out of this in one piece. Every spark that flickered down his metal bones told him so. From tonight on he was living on borrowed time.  

Rogue lay down on the bed while he took off his pants. She watched him with lustful eyes; he could smell the need rolling off of her. Finally, back to the basics. Sex without the emotions was simpler and something he did well. Kissing her, he settled between her knees. She was slick and hot; he slid to the hilt and she tensed. He closed his eyes and lowered himself to his elbows.  

He rested his forehead on hers. “It’s your first time.”

“You thought I’d want soft and romantic,” she teased. Letting out a small sigh, she caressed his cheek. “You’re the first man I’ve wanted to give my heart to.”

Logan dropped his head further and whispered in her ear. “I should have been prepared…had some protection.” He had always dealt with a specific kind of woman, the type that understood what they were receiving from him and he presumed took care of these things themselves. Looking back, that made him a jerk. More like a selfish bastard, because with his healing factor he’d honestly never worried about anything like that, so it was up to the woman to prevent any other consequences of sex.

Rogue could sense the regret in his voice, and rushed to head it off. “It’s covered, so kiss me.”

Obediently, he captured her lips, and she skimmed her hands across his back. He withdrew partially then slowly pushed in again. She broke the kiss with a gasp of pleasure.

Balancing himself on one elbow, he gently moved her knee causing her position to change, so he slipped deeper. He smiled down at her. “Better?” She could only nod.  

Soon he had her moaning with his movements and he was warring with himself. He’d set a slow steady pace that gave her pleasure. Before long he found himself thrusting harder, lost in the feel of her. He’d caught himself when she began whispering in his ear. Pausing he ground himself in reality by tangling his hands in her hair. He returned to the slow rhythm but still couldn’t meet her gaze for fear he’d be lost completely.

Rogue heard the sounds of pleasure he was trying to hide as he panted in her ear. He’d nuzzled her neck and nipped at her jawline when he looked up there was something in his eyes she hadn’t seen before. Maybe love? Could she be so lucky as to have him feel the same way she did? 

Averting his eyes, he thrust harder again. She was breathless but urged him on. Greedy hands pulled him deeper, hungry lips sought out his. He might refuse to look her in the eye, however, she could sense the emotion in his kiss. She knew the leering and comments he’d done before this evening where for appearance’ sake, meant to distance her when she got under his skin. 

This was different for him, softer; he actually felt connected. That day in the boiler room when she said he liked beer and fighting, he hadn’t corrected her. He liked beer and fighting, but he would have added sex to the statement. 

And to be honest, he didn’t make love; he fucked. Hard and fast, with a willing partner. Situations and positions that would make a decent woman blush. Yet he never directed any of that toward her. Even the first kiss had been softer, less demanding than normal.  

In the end, he’d left her lightheaded and feeling all a glow. He’d been above her, his teeth grit as he grunted in his own release. Logan had looked at her then, holding her gaze. She understood; he didn’t think he was worthy of this with her.

He lay with her, arm across her stomach and head on her breast. It was comforting to have her rake her fingers through his hair. This was the first time he’d cuddled with anyone after sex. He’d never felt the need before, but Marie wasn’t demanding anything from him and he knew there was nothing to fear in her embrace.

“Is it always this amazing?” she asked. He could hear a smidgen of awe in her voice.

“It can be.” Inwardly he cringed, he didn’t really know. This was the first time he would even think about applying that word to intercourse.

Sex had always been about satisfying a need. Sometimes it was an urge that wouldn’t subside. Chasing the release often won out over the desire of his partner.

It was different with Marie. All the tender touches, the whispered words, and the overwhelming trust she placed in him made it more than a physical experience. The hunger was still there along with old habits that had to be beaten back, but he wanted to see her satisfied before he slackened his own need.

Rogue sank down into the pillows, getting more comfortable. It had been a long day with a lovely ending and she didn’t wish to move. “Can I stay?”

He raised his head and blinked. Staying after sex was rare. Back alleys and women out for a cheap thrill didn’t invite the ‘sleeping together’ part of sex. Somewhere deep inside a little voice told him he was slipping. The Wolverine didn’t wait four months to get a woman in bed and was even quicker to move on to the next.

Logan ignored the voice. He was the Wolverine and he followed no one’s rules but his own. Marie was the only woman he wanted in his bed. “Anytime.”

Moving, he covered them with the sheet. He curled around her smaller frame. She’d looked at him with love and even said she trusted her heart to him. Was he in love with her? He was unsure; he knew nothing about love.

For now, he was content to learn from Marie. There would be a day of reckoning, but until that time he would try to keep her safe from all his lies.


	5. Chapter 5

Logan woke up to a pounding in the other room. Rolling out of bed, he pulled on his jeans and shuffled to the door. Six o’clock on a Sunday morning, didn’t these people ever sleep in? He knew before he answered it was Summers. The knock carried an air of tight-assed authority.

Jerking open the door, he stared down the younger man. Logan knew Summers wanted to say something about him answering the door half-dressed, but held his tongue. Logan growled at Summers, and then realized the man wasn’t paying attention to him.

It was interesting how much Summers could give away with his eyes, even behind the red glasses. He was glaring past Logan toward the kitchen. Logan thought of what had been left out last night, bottles of liquor and Marie’s clothes.

Summers’ demeanor changed from annoyed to angry. He set his jaw, going stiff all over, and narrowing his eyes at Logan. “If you-“

Logan cut him off with a second growl. “What do you need Summers?” 

Logan had thought about telling the younger man off. After all, Marie was twenty-one and a responsible adult. Though the maintenance man straight out admitting he was sleeping with one of the staff probably wouldn’t go over well. Not to mention that most of them treated Marie like a little sister.

“Water to the boy’s bathroom needs shut off before it floods.” None of the tension had left Summers’ voice, but he seemed willing to move on.

Logan threw on a shirt and met Summers at the first floor boy’s bathroom. After shutting off the water and setting up a fan, he informed Summers he might want to have a talk with the prankster on the third floor. Logan finally made his way back to his apartment and Marie.

It was already six; he should get ready for the day. However, Marie made the option of getting back in bed tempting. She stirred and wiped the sleep from her eyes. When she sat up the blankets fell away exposing her breasts. Getting in bed was looking better and better.

“What ya’ doin’, Sugar?” Her accent was thicker, almost honey toned.

“Swapping barbs with Mr. Jean Grey.”

She giggled at the name. “Aw, don’t be too hard on him. He’s a good guy.”

Logan stood at the edge of the bed. Rogue crawled over and began unbuttoning his work shirt.

“And what exactly has he done to be a good guy?” he asked, wrapping the white strands of hair around his finger.

Pushing his shirt back on his shoulders, she kissed his chest. “Saved my life.”

Logan raised her chin so their eyes met. “Mind telling me the story?” Her eyes fell away from his face. “Or is this one of those secrets I’m not supposed to know? Like how there is a cavernous echo underneath the basketball court or the elevator that goes down at least two more sub-levels if you have the right code.”

Slumping back, she sat on her feet and hung her head. “I don’t like the big secrets, but I don’t want to lie to you either.”

He drew her back up, holding her close. “My guess is, that it wasn’t your decision to keep those things from me.” He felt her nod her head in agreement. “We all have to take orders from higher up sometimes. Even if it hurts to follow them.”

“Maybe someday we can trade secrets,” she said, as she peered up at him and kissed between the knuckles of one of his hands.  

“I’d like that.” That secret would be the easiest to share because he didn’t know exactly how his claws came to be covered in metal. It was all the other secrets he was keeping from her that worried him. He kissed her on the forehead, they would have to wait.  

“And speaking of secrets. Summers knew you were here.” At her raised eyebrows he added, “We left a trail of evidence.”

Rogue smiled at the memory. “Does it bother you that he knows?”

“No, but I don’t like him thinking you’d been taken advantage of.” In the past, he wouldn’t have cared who thought what about his sex life. Here, though, he didn’t want anyone thinking so little of Marie. Think what they wanted of him, but he’d take on anyone that said something bad about her.

“Well then, we better get busy,” she stated, unzipping his jeans. “Cause I plan on telling him the truth. I ate your cupcakes, drank your alcohol, and took advantage of you several times.”

* * *

Logan looked up from where he kneeled by the urinal to where Rogue stood in the doorway with the culprit. 

“Logan, this is Danny,” Rogue said, tilting her head toward a scrawny teenager with hands and feet he hadn’t yet grown into. His red hair poked up at odd angles from being recently asleep. Logan had to give Scooter points for taking this seriously. 

“Our trickster?” Logan asked for confirmation. He already knew the boy to be the one by smell, but there was no need to let others know that. 

“Ye...yes, sir,” Danny muttered, trying to avoid looking at Logan directly.

“After you help me fix this, we’ll clean up the rest of the standing water.” It was best the kid learned that, even in the simplest of ways, all actions have consequences. Jokes didn’t always go as intended and revenge never did. 

Rogue watched from the doorway as Logan and Danny set about fixing the broken pipe and cleaning up. Whatever Logan’s past he certainly had a way with kids, or maybe just this kid. He let Danny know when he was doing a good job or patiently showed him how to do it better. 

She trailed after them to the boiler room and found Logan to be full of surprises. When she was about to mention escorting Danny back to his room, Logan acted as if he could read her mind. More accurately, it was probably her body language he read. 

Logan shook his head at her to let her know they weren’t finished, then turned to Danny as he put the mop bucket back in place. “Who’s the bully?”

Danny whipped around so fast he almost fell over. “There’s no bully,” he squeaked. 

“So you just like to cause problems?” Logan probed. This time the teenager stared at the floor and wouldn’t answer. Figures Logan thought, no matter where you go there are always the bullies and the bullied. That would never change, but maybe he could help this one kid.

After a couple minutes of silence, Logan continued, “Got to respect a man that wants to handle his own problems.” The boy’s head jerked up in surprise. “Come on, you got a few things to learn if you’re going this route.”

Logan led the way with Danny and Rogue in tow to one of the side grassy areas. Rogue was completely mystified at what Logan might have planned for the youngster. She knew most of the kids fought shy of Logan or ran off at the first hint of a growl. But Danny currently seemed intrigued by Logan now that they had repaired and cleaned the bathroom together. 

“First, no pulling pranks that cause work for others. Second, no picking fights.” Logan paused judging the boy’s unspoken response. “Can you do those two things?”

“Yes,” Danny answered, but failed to meet Logan’s gaze. 

Logan stifled a growl, there was going to be more to this than teaching the boy some self-dense moves. “Danny?”

“Yes, sir.”

“If you’re shouldering the responsibility of a man, you better stand up straight like one and look people in the eye.” Logan could read this kid like an open book, they’d need to work on that too. Danny didn’t need to be hard and callous, but a good poker face wouldn’t hurt. 

They worked on some basics first. Logan was positive whoever the bully was, he was too smart to outright throw a punch. Danny’s best line of defense was to be observant enough to see things coming, like an ‘accidental’ elbow to the gut and how to block it or avoid it all together. 

After running through a couple of scenarios, Logan let Danny be on his way for the day. “Remember your best weapon is your brain.”

The teen started to walk off then turned back, “Can we do this again?”

“Same time next week,” Logan answered with a bit of satisfaction. It was good to see the kid wanting to learn a different way of handling problems.

Rogue caught the smile on Logan’s face as Danny trotted off. “You’re a big softy,” she teased. 

“Yeah, underdog and all that. Just don’t let the word get around or I’ll have to remind you about my tough side.”

“You promise?’ she said, wagging her eyebrows at him.

* * *

Over the next couple of weeks, Rogue watched as Logan’s lessons went from one on one to a small group of Danny’s friends. They went over all the basics she remembered from when she first started, but Logan seemed to have streamlined the skills for these younger kids. 

She was impressed with his expertise, he’d trained at some point in his life. Maybe whoever gave him metal claws might have thrown in some training. Though when she helped demonstrate a move, she felt him pulling his punches. 

During her time as an X-Man, she’d taken many a kick and punch, in training and on missions. She also knew every single muscle on Logan’s body, intimately, a person didn’t build muscle like that from fixing things around the mansion. There were also those memories of him liking to fight. 

After the kids left, she and Logan sparred a little more and she was positive he wasn’t putting his all into it. Was he afraid of hurting her? She couldn’t say, but she was sure of one thing, he could probably hold his own against any of the X-Men.

She thought about asking but decided not to call him on it. They both had their secrets, he’d tell her when he was ready. Hopefully, none of these secrets would amount to anything they couldn’t handle. 


	6. Chapter 6

“I think Logan could help,” Rogue offered nervously from the doorway of the conference room. She chewed her lip, glancing over her shoulder at Jubilee for moral support. 

“Rogue, I don’t think so,” Scott said shortly, moving to straighten the chairs.

“But -“ she began.

He cut her off. “Just because you have a … a thing with him does not mean he’s any good.”

For a man that was supposed to know those who fell under his command, Scott failed to see the change in Rogue’s attitude. To be fair, he’d never been around when she lost her temper. He did catch the encouraging whisper Jubilee made, but it wasn’t enough to warn him of what was to come. 

“Oh no, you don’t!” Her hand was on her hip and her eyes had narrowed in indignation. “First of all, that thing you are referring to is my relationship with Logan. Just because you fail to take it seriously doesn’t mean we do. Secondly, I know you don’t like him, but he’s got military experience, and he’s a good fighter. And don’t think I’m so naïve as to confuse the two.”

Scott was surprised; he’d never truly seen this side of Rogue. If it were Jubilee, he wouldn’t be shocked; she had an opinion on everything and didn’t mind sharing it, but Rogue... He opened his mouth to say something, but she held up her finger as if scolding a child.

“I am not finished. Thirdly, you have said time and again how important it is to take this group down. Tonight is our lucky break and you are going to let it go because we are shorthanded and you don’t like the guy that might be able to help. Who is confusing their personal life with their duties now?”

Taking a deep breath, Scott had to admit the last point was spot on. They did need to take out this group, or at least get hold of the information that would take them down. Putting aside his dislike of Logan, Scott had seen his history, knew he was a veteran, and he had heightened senses that might be helpful as backup. If Rogue was this confident in his abilities, it wouldn’t hurt to see what he could do.

“Go get him. I’ll meet you in the Danger Room.”

Rogue flashed a cocky smile and walked off down the hall talking excitedly with Jubilee. “If he’s as good at fighting as he is at making love, Mr. Summers will want him on the first team.” 

Scott sighed, somethings just couldn’t be unheard. 

* * *

It was the golden ticket and he didn’t want anything to do with it. Logan huffed; he simply wanted life to continue as it had. During the day he would fix things around the school, and in between, he would make love to Marie. 

He no longer cared about his mission for SHIELD, yet he’d signed up for this and couldn’t simply walk away from it without repercussions for everyone. It stuck in his craw, for some time now he’d been thinking of dumping the burdensome life of the command structure and drifting, something he should have done before. Now that he knew Marie, he was at a loss of how to proceed without losing her in the process. 

Sighing heavily, he screwed the light switch panel back in place. He could feel her excitement. It made the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. This was the beginning of the end and he couldn’t share her enthusiasm, but he couldn’t deny her request either. 

Wordlessly he followed her to the elevator. He didn’t watch her punch in her code to make the elevator descend to the sub-levels. Fury had been pressuring him to wrap up this mission, but he’d been ignoring him. Logan didn’t trust Fury with the nonpublic side of Xavier’s School. 

Logan didn’t suspect anything sinister, his gut told him that Marie wouldn’t be involved in anything evil. However, he’d seen a jet disappear into the basketball court in the middle of the night. He also suspected the team-building exercises she’d spoken of were more along the lines of team combat training, from some of the bruises she occasionally sported. More than once he’d heard the hushed talk of the X-Men from the students. 

But he knew Fury well enough to know this information would be viewed with suspicion. No amount of evidence would save the good the school did for the mutant population. He began to rationalize with himself that if he knew the full extent of what the X-Men did, then he might be able to steer Fury in a different direction. 

Marie’s voice cut into his thoughts. “Mr. Summers will try to throw a lot at you. Just remember the simulations can’t kill you.”

They exited the elevator and walked down a tiled hallway, passing several rooms. One looked to be a medical facility. That made sense, he had wondered what Dr. Grey did, because she certainly didn’t spend any time in the school’s nurse’s office. 

He followed Marie into an empty room; it was at least two stories tall and covered in the same tile as the hall. She walked him to the center and pointed to windows up high on the far side. “I’ll be up there with Mr. Summers.”

Scott was behind the thick glass of the observation room with a clipboard in hand. His voice came from a hidden speaker, “Rogue did you brief him on the procedure?”

“Yes, sir. He’s ready.”

“Good, let’s get this over with.” Logan couldn’t help but smirk at the disdain in Summers’ voice and realized he’d only been ‘invited’ at Marie’s insistence. 

She turned to leave, then spun back around. “You’ll do fine,” she said, placing a kiss on his cheek and whispered, “Watch out for the decoy.”

He watched her jog from the room. After the doors slid closed, he turned his attention back to the observation room in time to catch Summers scowling at him before Marie appeared in the room. 

She gave Logan two thumbs up and her brightest smile. This was completely new to him, he’d never had his own personal cheering section before. He best not let her down.

The lights dimmed and the surface of the room rippled slightly and changed. Suddenly he found himself in a cluttered alley in the city. He was surprised at the detail, they almost had the smell down too. 

Looking around, he could no longer see the windows or the occupants of the room behind the glass. He spied a can on the floor and kicked at it to test the limitations of the simulation. The can easily clattered across the ground to the dead end of the alley.

Realistic enough. There were even shadows for the three tough guys that chased a screaming woman into the alley. Logan reminded himself not to take them out too quickly or show the claws. Only Marie knew about those and he’d prefer it stayed that way. 

The woman continued to scream as he confronted the men. After a few minutes of fighting one man was unconscious, and the others had fled. He turned to the woman who was whimpering now.

Logan wasn’t good at soothing hysterical people and he would have normally walked away. Yet he guessed that something more was expected of him. Just as he began to approach the woman hands up, a door creaked behind him. 

He knew many people would instinctively turn toward the sound. Instead, he listened for a moment and by the sound of the plastic and shuffling it was an elderly person taking out some trash. He readjusted his position so he could keep an on eye on both people.

As he moved the woman’s image flickered and changed. An overly large man wearing the tattered dress of the woman charged him. With a last-minute sidestep he let the man run into the opposite wall of the narrow alley and land in a heap on the ground. 

Wearily he watched the elderly woman struggle with the lid of the dumpster. He finally intervened and put the garbage in for her. Though she was on her own to get the alley door open again. 

Up in the booth, Scott looked over at Rogue as he pushed the button to end the simulation. She was bouncing with excitement, because she knew Logan had passed, despite Mr. Summers’ disapproval of Logan not opening the door for the elderly woman. 

“At least he didn’t growl at her,” she suggested helpfully. Rogue noticed that Mr. Summers had given Logan high marks for fighting skills, and stamina. She also saw the note at the bottom about holding back. 

“There’s that,” Scott agreed with a sigh. “See if you can find him a uniform.”

On impulse, she hugged him. “Thanks for trusting me.”

He returned the hug. “Don’t get too giddy, he’s only passed the baseline test so he can help out tonight.”

She nodded dutifully and rushed off to meet Logan who had already exited the Danger Room. Scott let his smile fade, he couldn’t shake the feeling that somehow this would not end well and that Rogue was in for a heartache.


	7. Chapter 7

The water was never going to turn cold on its own. Logan knew the water heaters that were installed in the rest of the school, he had no doubt these were the same and the supply of hot water was endless. Didn’t matter, cold water wasn’t going to fix the primal need he was feeling. Only one thing would do that. 

He heard Marie enter the men’s shower area and decided to pretend he hadn’t. Not that he didn’t think she’d find him but trying to act like he was finishing up and everything was normal between them wasn’t going to work either. 

His first mission and everything had been going fine. ‘Stick with Rogue, she knows what to do.’ And she did know, and he easily played backup to her lead. He’d fought tougher foes and harder battles, he’d been in worse bar brawls. But he was okay with watching her backside as they fought together. 

When word came that the mission was successful, the organization’s information had been retrieved and the local cops were on their way, that was when things went wrong. Marie had flung herself at him, her mouth on his in a joyful kiss. It was completely unexpected and turned the adrenaline rushing through his body into a fuel for something else. 

She’d been on her own adrenaline high and her pheromones filled his nostrils threatening to suffocate him. The taste of her blood from a split lip flooded his mouth, her ripeness calling to his feral senses. He’d had to quarantine himself in the back of the jet, forcing himself to meditate on the way back to the mansion.

“Well, this isn’t a side of you I get to see very often,” she said with amusement as she leaned against the tiled partition. “I heartily approve.”

Grunting in response, he thought about tilting his head back into the water and drowning himself. Drowning was never a nice way to go, and he didn’t prefer it, but it might get him out of this situation. At least temporarily. 

Rogue had noticed his tense silence after the mission, had even given him some space on the Blackbird, hoping this hadn’t been too much for him. He’d fought well, even appeared to have fun beating their opponents. Yet she was beginning to think this might have brought up old memories he wished to remain buried. Perhaps she could help relieve some of the tension.

Logan could hear the whisper of fabric as she shed her clothes. Her lush scent was mixing with the shower mist and cloaking him in it. Maybe he would drown after all, just not like he was thinking. 

The haze of lust was starting to blind him and he closed his eyes against it. Her gentle hands caressed his shoulders, trying to break the knots there as she pressed her body into his. He placed his hands on the wall for support and to keep from touching her, to keep from making her do as he wished. 

Despite her actions, she didn’t think her attempt to soothe him was working. Closing her eyes, she sighed and ducked under his arm so she stood in front of him. “Logan,” she began before opening her eyes. “I’m sorry if ... this... didn’t...” she finally trailed off. 

He opened his eyes and stared at her, a growl rumbling through his chest. She was taken back by the raw need and her gaze drifted lower to his hard cock proudly jutting out from his body. Flushing, her eyes darted back to his. “Oh.” She had completely misread the source of his tension.

Pressing a kiss to his lips, Rogue placed a hand on his chest, letting the growl roll into her. His lips didn’t yield to the soft pressure and a thrill of excitement traveled down her spine. Logan had been disciplined in all of their sexual encounters until now. This was something she hadn’t seen and thought of what might happen made her wet. Going on a gut feeling, she turned to face away from him and swept her hair from her neck. 

Logan accepted the invitation, closing the space between them and pushing her flat against the tiled wall. His cock pressed into the soft flesh of her curves as he slid a hand down her side and across her stomach to the apex of her heat. Rubbing his stubble over her shoulder, he ended with a nip at her neck. 

She purred as he nuzzled her neck, sliding a finger along her moist folds. Inhaling her scent told him she was ready for the taking and he wasted no time correcting the angle of her hips for entry. A moan of pleasure escaped her lips at his first thrust. 

He knew he should spare time for her needs, but the primal desire driving him left little room for bargaining. He wrapped one arm around her chest and the other settled on her hip. Pumping into her, he wanted nothing more than to find his own release. He did have enough presence of mind to not bite and mark her, instead; he grit his teeth. The noises she made spelled his doom, and he thrust into her a final time. 

Rogue pressed her cheek into the cool tile. Her body still hummed, she’d been too surprised by his intensity to do much more than hold on for the ride. But now as he slowly rocked into her, she let out a shaky breath. “More...,” she pleaded, pushing her hips further back. “Please.”

She couldn’t believe she was begging, he was being rougher than he’d ever been before and selfish in his drive for pleasure. However, after the mission and the adrenaline still flooding her system... it satisfied something deep in her. This wild side he was showing her, freed her to explore her baser instincts. 

He started to move his head, and she reached up to hold him there. The feel of his stubble, his breath in her ear and the thought he might bite her were all turn-ons, and she didn’t want to lose that. Taking the hint he shifted behind her, causing her to raise up on her tiptoes and suck in a breath when his fingers began working her clit. 

Logan was a little surprised, Marie rarely asked for anything sexually and to ask for more of this. He pushed down the guilt rising up at her trust in him. He hadn’t shown her his feral side and yet she trusted him to take care of her, to not hurt her. 

He’d already grown hard again and was thrusting, only wanting to feel her convulse around him. They didn’t often talk during sex either and in his haze; he wasn’t sure exactly what she was pleading for as his fingers circled her clit but he couldn’t hold back this time. One kiss on her shoulder turned into two and he felt her body tense and he held her still with his teeth where he’d kissed just moments before. 

Wildly he slammed into her as she moaned his name, her climax sending a shudder through her body. Grabbing her hips forcefully, he ground into her, filling her for the second time. Then leaning into her for support from being light-headed, his need was finally satisfied. 

Logan didn’t know what to say to her as they detangled their bodies from one another. When he first planned on getting her to warm his bed during his stay, he didn’t care if he treated her this way. Now, though, he cared and he knew he shouldn’t. He’d fallen in love with her and it mattered to him what she wanted out of this relationship. It was probably just as well that she saw this now before things became too complicated and neither of them could walk away easily. 

Watching her dress, he saw his fingerprints on her hips and knew they would turn into bruises. There was also the matter of the welt on her shoulder from him biting her. He’d never felt the desire to claim a mate like he had with her. The experience left them both quiet and unnerved him when he saw her hands shaking as she tried to hook her bra and failed. 

Logan stepped over to help her, not that he could hook it, he was better at undoing them, but his hands were steadier now. He smelled her apprehension, and she didn’t melt into his touch like normal.

“Marie, I didn’t mean to...” he trailed off wanting to place a kiss on the welt but didn’t know if it would be accepted. 

If she moved a certain way, she could see a good portion of the bite mark. It didn’t look bad, but it made her flush with embarrassment. She was a complete wreck, her body ached in a good way and she had the jitters from the adrenaline still in her system. Good thing they had been leaning up against the wall because she was sure if they’d been on the floor she would never have gotten up. 

Rogue knew him well enough now that she would need to head off where he was going. Turning, she kissed him softly, “You didn’t hurt me, I’m just,” pausing she searched for the right words. 

Wrapping a strand of white hair around his fingers, he looked down at her. This was one of his secrets, the extent to which his mutation made him animalistic. It wasn’t always pretty, that being part of the reason he kept it tightly controlled. 

She put a finger to his lips to keep him from expressing regret. “Remember when I asked if sex was always so amazing?”

He nodded, wondering how lackluster this was for her in retrospect. 

“What I didn’t understand was that it only makes me love you more. That it’s you that makes it amazing.” She blushed again. “Whether it’s soft and romantic or...” Tipping her head back toward the shower, she shifted uncomfortably.

The area smelled like soap and water and sex, now Logan was picking up a fresh wave of arousal from her. 

“How do you do it?” she asked. He raised an eyebrow in question and she raised a shaking hand. “Make me want you so bad it gives me the shakes.”

“That might be low blood sugar,” he offered, giving her an out. 

Pulling her shirt on over her head, Rogue started for the hall. “Well, then we better grab something to eat so we can do this again and find out which one it is.”

He watched her a moment walking down the hall, hips swaying attractively. “Who am I to argue with a good idea?”

Logan knew he was only putting off the inevitable and sooner or later he would have to deal with his true mission and the web of lies he was living. Right now though he was hoping for later, much, much later, because tonight the world would be put on hold while he made love to his woman.


	8. Chapter 8

“Come here often?”

Logan snorted. “No, first time. You?”

The beam of light shook as Marie laughed beside him. This was one of those things he loved about her. Here they were stuffed into a small, cramped space trying to fix an electrical problem and she was cracking jokes. Lame jokes, but jokes all the same. 

“Hold the light still, Darlin’ or I’ll have to fire you.” Not that he ever wanted to get rid of her. On the contrary, he’d prefer to keep her with him the rest of his life, but she was making this particular repair job take longer and the dust they were stirring up was driving him crazy. 

“You’d just rehire me,” she said, suppressing a smile. She started giggling again, “I could get you one of those headlamps, then I could be of more help.” Rogue snuck her hand up the back of his thigh, trying to distract him. 

“Marie, let me finish. Then we can check sex off your list.” He really shouldn’t indulge her; that would only lead to escapades such as sex in a storeroom, which happened last week. However, he’d been tracking this electrical problem for longer than he’d like to admit. He’d already talked to Xavier about rewiring this wing of the school over the summer break. The wiring was almost as old as Logan himself. 

He sighed, and she backed off. After another few minutes, he could feel her becoming restless again. The scent of her arousal was starting to take over the smell of the dust. “Were you serious about sex? ‘Cause I need a shower after being up here and you have drinks with Cap tonight.”

He wound electrical tape around the wires. “Could always multi-task. Don’t want to keep Rogers waiting or I buy the beer,” he stated, picking up his tools, but she wasn’t waiting for him, already wiggling her way out of the crawl space.

* * *

Rogue was getting cramps in her hands from her grip on the shower bar as she came on his tongue. She didn’t let go until he was standing up holding onto her. He pushed her back flat against the wall, balancing her on the bar she’d held onto moments before.

Boneless; putty in his hands. How did he continue to do this to her? Six months they’d been together and the sex never stopped being amazing.

Damned if she didn’t love the feel of his body up against hers like this. Right now, he was working diligently at making her scream his name. The way he was grinding into her, she would scream if she had any breath left in her. 

Logan was being selfish, he could admit it. Oh sure, she was enjoying it too; but he needed to taste and touch her, packing as much of her into his life as he could. In fact, she was practically moved into his apartment, he’d even offered her space in the closet. She didn’t take him up on the offer, instead kept a laundry basket of neatly folded clothes in the corner. She insisted they not move too quickly. But for him, with his time almost up, it wasn’t fast enough. 

God, he wanted to get lost in her and never come up for a breath again. He’d set a slow, agonizing pace that was supposed to last but he could already feel the burning need to fill her. She started to convulse and let her head fall to one side; he took the bait, biting down on her neck as he came. 

* * *

Logan didn’t look up when Cap cleared his throat. There was no need to warn him, Logan had smelled Fury down the block five minutes ago when the door was opened. He took his next shot as Fury stopped at his elbow. 

“We need to have a word,” Fury said in his authoritative voice, the one that got his people moving double time. 

Ignoring him, Logan lined up the next shot. “Your gonna owe me a beer, Cap.”

“Looks that way,” Cap answered, eyeing the others in the bar. It never hurt to make sure Fury didn’t have a surprise up his sleeve.

“Do I need to remind you, the report is past due?” Fury had an edge of agitation in his voice from being ignored. 

“Take care of that sentinel factory yet?” Logan asked, finally acknowledging the man’s presence. Logan had received a top-secret file about a month ago. No name attached, but he suspected it was from Natasha, knowing Logan would be interested. 

Fury narrowed his eyes, “That’s none of your damn business, son.”

“Not your son, and it is my business. The business of every damn mutant on this planet.” Logan took the shot, sinking several balls. “And it ought to be your concern about what those fucking machines do when they become sentient.”

“What we’re talking about here is your insubordination,” Fury said, jabbing his finger on the edge of the pool table next to Logan.

Logan stood up, abandoning his shot. “I’m sure you got a nice cell for me all picked out in that brig of yours.” Not that he would spend much time there. Logan had a few items tucked away that would have Fury letting him go in short order. If he didn’t break out first. 

The other man raised then dropped his hand, obviously thinking better of jabbing that same finger in Logan’s chest. “If you think-”

Logan cut him off, “Don’t get your panties in a bunch.” He dismissed Fury by taking his shot. “You’ll get the report before the end of the month.”

“See to it,” Fury stated before turning to leave. 

Cap relaxed, he’d never particularly trusted Fury and would have no problem backing Logan in this situation. Though a public place, especially his favorite bar, wasn’t good. Thankfully Logan knew that, but Cap had to ask, “What about Rogue?”

For the first time that night Logan missed his shot. He turned the game over to Cap and thought about Marie. In the end, she would have to understand her safety was more important than them being together. It was paramount that no one turn a curious eye toward the school, that the sentinels never be unleashed to cause its destruction. 

* * *

Shuffling the papers around, Logan examined them a final time. He had to admit Summers was thorough. Two weeks ago he’d brought the sentinel factory to the attention of the X-Men in hopes that they saw the danger he did. Summers had immediately gone to work gathering intel, satellite photos, and drone footage. 

The objective was simple, to get inside and download information. While Hank and Summers were busy with that, Logan would take a look on the factory floor and see exactly how far the company was on production. Logan had already scouted the place weeks ago and knew by now they had a working model. However, he’d chosen to follow the X-Men’s lead on how to bring down the sentinel project. 

It wasn’t his style to walk away and leave a functioning sentinel. There were few avenues to make this problem public and for the moment Summers’ way would have to do. His time was up and this part was best left in the X-Men’s hands. It would take the spotlight off the school and his assessment report of it. 

He sighed and stuffed everything back in the folder. After the mission tonight, he would have to leave the school. It had been a good run, once he’d gotten them to drop the mister to his name. Damn those respectful kids anyway. He’d actually begun to feel at ease here and that had been his first mistake. No, that was his second mistake. 

Logan’s first mistake had been Marie. Somewhere in between working to get her into his bed and it actually happening, he’d fallen for her. It was no longer about sex, but being with her. Funny thing happened too, now when he thought of sex, Marie was the only woman that came to mind. 

She was his biggest regret. He should have never gotten involved with her in the first place. He’d known enough at three months to make a report and let the chips fall where they may. Yet he now knew she was the reason he didn’t move on. A good woman was a rare thing for him and he wanted to know what all the fuss was about. Now he knew, and she was worth the fuss, worth holding onto and making her his but he didn’t have that luxury. Instead, the best he could do was protect her, which meant protecting the school and the X-Men.

Rogue stirred in bed. Not the same kind of restlessness that she got before a mission but close. It felt like a big change was on its way; it was both exciting and frightening at the same time and Logan was at the center of it all. She felt stupid, even now for doubting him when he first came to the mansion. 

Lazily she patted the bed beside her, “You were supposed to come to bed to try to relax.” 

Playing with a lock of her hair, Logan mumbled, “Couldn’t.”

“Too wound up?” she asked. 

“Something like that.” Turmoil was a better word for what he was feeling. This facility needed to be eliminated, and it would be one way or another, but this also represented the end of his time with Marie. 

All week he’d tried unsuccessfully to keep himself separated from her. He reasoned that if he slowly weaned himself off her constant presence then maybe it wouldn’t be as hard when the time finally came. Throwing himself into planning with Summers had worked for a while as he’d also been doing extra work around the mansion, things that didn’t need to be done right away but would knock down the long-range list for whoever filled his position. However the busier he made himself the more determined she was to fill his spare time up with herself. 

She smiled up at him and he felt the guilt rise. He was simply leaving her behind, he’d have nothing more than an aching heart to mend. Marie, on the other hand, would have to deal with his departure and the constant reminders of them around her every day. He hoped she’d never find out about his lies; either way, trying to make up for it now would make no difference later. 

Rogue caught his hand and tugged him down beside her. Maybe it was the fact that this was the first mission he’d helped plan. Or that it was more stealth than action, she wasn’t sure but Logan had been trying to avoid her lately. Even now in bed, he was tense, and she knew him laying down was for her benefit, not his.

It made her smile. He never really talked about love but every touch, every look, spoke of it loud and clear. In trusting her heart to him, she had been rewarded with his in turn. All she wanted was for this to continue for the rest of her life. 

“Maybe I can help you relax,” she said, snaking her hand down his abdomen. 

“Ya’ think.” Logan was sure that it wouldn’t exactly be relaxing but it would take his mind off of the future. Didn’t matter because he’d proven to himself all week that he was powerless to resist her. The more he told himself he shouldn’t, the harder it was to stay away. 

“Mmm… I see we’re thinking along the same line,” she commented stroking his hardening member.

She smelled so damn good; he had to resist the urge to put her on her back and fuck her. Slow and complicated, his heart tangled up in the act, was what she wanted and he didn’t mind letting her do that. Her kiss was leaving him lightheaded; it was so obvious to him at this moment, there would be no woman to compare with Marie.

Pushing off his sweats, she quickly shimmied out of her sleep shirt and panties. He could only lay back as she mounted him, his cock being engulfed by her soft, wet heat. This position had never been a favorite, but he loved to watch her ride him, knowing she enjoyed this, being able to see her fall apart when they made love was one of his favorite things.

Not to say they never fucked, they did. Yet fucking was different with Marie. The need, the drive wasn’t simply for satisfaction, she’d changed that. She satisfied that hunger, subdued the urge by soothing that animalistic drive in him.

Rogue leaned over him as he took a nipple in his mouth. He never averted his eyes anymore. In fact, it was quite the opposite. His raw need for her was absolutely clear, and it made her self-conscious at times. The unwavering, intense gaze left her feeling cherished and would end in her coming way too quickly. Though that was a good thing too. He always gave her a knowing smile and worked to prolong her pleasure in other ways.

Just thinking of it now; with the way he was caressing her body and nuzzling her breasts, she could feel it building. Logan moved his hands to her hips as she began to lose her rhythm.

“Don’t stop,” he growled as he began thrusting up into her. 

She was trembling with the effort, riding out the wave and he wanted to do nothing more than to spend the rest of his life making her do this. The sparks were flying up his metal covered bones and he knew his time was up. When she moaned his name in that soft Southern lilt, he spilled himself into her. 

Rogue lay slumped over on his chest, sweaty and spent, too exhausted to move. It had been quick but intense. The intensity had become the norm, and she was still in awe each and every time. Those secrets she had been afraid of, no longer frightened her. Together they would find their way through. 

Untangling herself from Logan and the sheets, she finally cuddled into his side. “I don’t care anymore,” she said. He gave her a questioning grunt, and she continued, “The baggage from your life before, that you can’t tell me.” 

“Why’s that?” he asked, pulling her in tighter.

“That stuff isn’t who we are now,” she said seriously. “If it ever crops up, we’ll deal with it. Together.” She was confident that no matter what, they could handle it and if not the X-Men would be willing to help.

Logan felt the guilt well up again. Not so much for his SHIELD secret but for having to leave her. If he could take her with him, he would but that would cast doubt on his report. There must be no suspicion on the authenticity of the report. 

The only thing he could do was reassure her of the one true fact in his life. “I love you, Marie.”

Kissing his chest, she replied. “Love you, too.” She knew he would get there in his own sweet time. 

He didn’t want to make it weird, yet he needed her to understand. “No matter how this shakes out, you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.” The admission wasn’t quite what he wanted, but it was the best he could do at the moment. “Don’t believe anyone that tells you I don’t love you.”

His words brought a bit of an ominous feeling to her gut and she wondered if Scott and accused him of something. Putting that aside, hoping it was just nerves about his confession, she chose to focus on the most important piece of information. Logan loved her and that was all she needed to know.

After she’d drifted off to sleep, he glanced at the clock. A few minutes more and he’d need to head down to the sub-levels. Never in his life had he felt so ill at ease. It was best to take this one step at a time and see the plan through to the end. 


	9. Chapter 9

The last month was a blur, a vague jumble of images as if Rogue wasn’t the one that had lived through it. It was like trying to watch a power point presentation when the slides are all out of order. The last clear memory she had was waiting for the jet to return from the sentinel factory. 

She hadn’t been able to sleep and had wandered down to the hanger. The team was late on returning and she had become a little anxious that the mission had gone wrong. Jean had joined her and tried to hold a conversation. Rogue had barely paid attention because it seemed to have some double meaning that was lost to her. She felt bad dismissing Jean so casually when the jet landed and the team disembarked. 

Mr. Summers was out first, followed by Hank and Storm. It was odd because, after all of the planning that went into this operation, Rogue didn’t think Storm was on the team. She began walking to the jet to greet Logan, but Mr. Summers stopped her. He spoke to her; she watched his mouth move and marveled how no sound came out. When that lost its fascination, she simply tried to walk past him. 

Logan was dead. Rogue thought she was supposed to laugh, she’d played some pranks with the team before but this seemed cruel. The disbelief quickly gave way to anger and when Mr. Summers wouldn’t get out of her way she physically struck out at him. He held firm until she was pleading and crying and Jean “suggested” Rogue needed to sleep.

In med bay there had been an endless parade of friendly faces coming to chat. She didn’t feel like talking, not that they were really doing anything else but keeping an eye on her. The time drug on and she would have been there longer if she hadn’t gotten up one night and made her way to Logan’s bed where she wrapped herself around his pillow and cried. 

Jubilee was the first to visit her. She brought Rogue’s favorite foods and curled up with her on the bed. Jubes told her, she’d be okay, she was strong and they would help her. She also told the story of her parents dying and Rogue finally cried for someone besides herself. 

Sometime later Kitty stopped by, casting a worried glance at the untouched food. She sat on the bed and opened a book, explaining that her Grandmother read this when family passed away. Carefully Kitty read to her; Rogue didn’t understand the language, but it gave her a sense of comfort and lulled her to sleep. 

Again, people came and went, she ate occasionally hoping they would leave her alone if she did. One morning she heard the door; whoever it was came at the same time every day. She took a deep breath; she was a complete mess and needed to pull herself together. It was what Logan would have required her to do. She smiled to herself, thinking of his ‘no slackers’ policy. 

"What..." She cleared the raspiness of too many tears and too little use from her throat and tried again, "What day is it?"

“Tuesday.” Mr. Summers? She sat up to make sure it was truly him. He gave her a patient smile and answered the next question before she could ask. “Almost three weeks.”

Taking a big breath, she looked around the room. The entire mansion had walked around her for weeks while she held them up from moving on. She assessed what little Logan owned; it would need to be packed so a new maintenance man could have the apartment. “I should pack up his stuff.”

Both of Mr. Summers’ eyebrows shot up and he sat down the food tray he had. “Are you sure you’re ready for that?”

“No, but…” she trailed off. She needed to do something besides feeling sorry for herself.

He nodded, picking up yesterday’s supper tray. “I’ll be back after my nine o’clock class.”

Rogue used the time to eat a little, which turned into her snarfing down the entire meal. She hadn’t realized how hungry she’d gotten. It had been three weeks since she’d really eaten much more than the bare minimum so she wouldn’t be put back in the med bay.

She had to move on; she knew it and didn’t want to but she couldn’t remain in bed forever and expect others to be responsible for her. Jubilee and Mr. Summers both lost their parents early on and had found a way to keep going. They would be there for advice if she needed it. 

Dragging herself into the bathroom, she decided the best way to get going was how she started every morning, with a shower. It was a simple thing that didn’t require any true effort. Standing under the hot spray, she tried not to think of the last time she showered here pressed up against the wall by Logan.

She could remember every last moment of that day in surprising clarity. His need for her had been so real, the fact that she had wanted to take their relationship slow only made things worse. When he had offered her a space in his life, she should've jumped on it. Instead she was left with regret that she didn't spend more time with him, didn't let him push her up against the shower wall more often.

Quickly, she finished up, dried off and dressed before she was overwhelmed with the thought of what she had lost. Toweling off her hair, she stared at the bed. Three weeks...the sheets would need to be changed and there was other laundry that needed to be done. It was another simple step she could take.

Turning back to the bathroom, she grabbed the other towel hanging on the rack. It was Logan’s, and it still smelled like him after so many weeks. The tears started and she couldn’t make them stop. She sat down on the edge of the tub, bawling like a baby.

That was how Mr. Summers found her when he came back. He sat down on the edge of the tub and put an arm around her. She leaned her head on his shoulder, clutching the towel to her chest, a hiccup followed by more tears running down her face. 

After a while, she quieted. “You probably think I’m being silly,” she muttered. Rogue took a deep breath and wiped at her nose with her sleeve. “Your parents…” she couldn’t finish the sentence.

“No, you’re not silly.” He rubbed her upper arm. “I never got a chance to grieve when they died. There was Alex to look after, moving, the orphanage… You take all the time you need.”

She could hear the regret in his voice and had a small glimpse into why he was at times so strict. Maybe that was his way of protecting the students from what he could. However, protecting her from the harsh reality of moving on wasn’t doing either of them any favors. 

Swiping at her nose again, Logan wouldn’t want to see her this way and that was the solid footing she needed. “Thanks, but I’m sure I’m holding up the process of getting a new maintenance man.”

Mr. Summers stood and gently removed the towel from her hands. “About that,” he said, hanging the towel back on the rack. “I thought we should offer you the job.”

“What?” She must have heard him wrong. Blinking, she stared at him.

“Honestly, the last year before Mr. Jenkins retired you were doing most of the work.”

“But Logan…” she swallowed the large lump in her throat. “I can’t do all he did.”

“Neither did Mr. Jenkins,” Mr. Summers said to stave off any further argument. “We used to contract out those bigger jobs.”

Rogue looked at him doubtfully, “I don’t know.”

“It can be on a trial basis, though I’m confident you will have no problems getting up to speed.”

“Trial basis,” she mumbled peering into the bedroom. It would give her just a little more time where the happiest moments of her life had taken place. She nodded absently thinking it over.

“Great! I had some students leave boxes and a rolling cart at your room. Let me know when you need help.” He gave her a smile that said the matter was settled. “I’ll leave you to plan.”

“Scott,” she called as he walked out of the bedroom with her empty breakfast tray in hand. It was the first time she’d called him by his first name even though they’d been allowed to since joining the team after graduation. It felt a little odd, but he was no longer Mr. Summers her teacher, he’d made that transition to her friend. 

“Yeah,” he glanced back over his shoulder.

“Thanks… for everything,” she said with the first smile she’d had in weeks. 


	10. Chapter 10

Rogue was almost surprised at how easy it was to step into the maintenance role. Some of that was because of having helped for so long but mostly had to do with how well organized Logan kept everything. The difference in their habits didn’t really come as a shock. It was evident even now with him gone, she was still living out of boxes in his orderly apartment. The only items that had been put away were her clothes hanging next to his. 

Taking a deep breath, she picked up the clipboard. Danny’s little group had been helping in the previous weeks; tightening screws, changing light bulbs, and keeping notes of those jobs and things they couldn’t fix. She could do this and it looked like she might have some help if she needed it. 

The first week she spent catching up on the list and developing the practice of putting everything back in its place. Her days fluctuated between showing a brave face, weeping, and being mad. She was also beginning to see what Scott had meant by Logan going beyond what was expected of him.

The floor buffer she was pretty sure she could wrestle into submission over the summer to deal with the classrooms during break. However, doing the scheduled replacement of the shed’s roof wasn’t something she could do with confidence. At the end of the week, she would need to have a sit down with Scott and go over some of these jobs. In the meantime, she decided to update Logan’s lists to include the sub-level. 

“Hey, Hank,” she said entering the lab. Rogue had become good at giving an ‘I’m doing fine’ smile, which usually put others at ease. 

“Good morning,” Hank replied, trying to return the smile. She could tell he was ill at ease with her presence, which perplexed her and she tried to hurry not wanting to have a discussion about her feelings or anyone else’s. 

Looking at the clipboard, she drew a quick diagram like Logan had. When she flipped back to his notes, she realized he’d also been marking those lights which were reaching the end of their use. She stared at the lights a second, then his notes; that was something she couldn’t do until they started blinking or making noise within the range of her normal senses. Then again, she bet Hank kept on top of those kinds of things with his heightened senses. 

He squirmed a little under her gaze and she gave up her false pretense of indifference. “Hank, is there a problem?”

Clearing his throat, he was obviously uncomfortable with what he was about to say. “I do not want to assume anything, but were you and Logan sexually active?”

She flushed bright red. This was never something she thought she would discuss with Hank of all people. He rushed on, “Your smell has shifted. I think you might want to consider the possibility that you’re pregnant.”

Laughing with relief, she said, “I’m … I was on the pill.” In the aftermath of Logan’s death, she’d forgotten to take them and now it seemed pointless. 

“Oral contraceptives can fail,” he stated. She would swear he might be blushing as much as she was, though thankfully he was being very clinical now that his discomfort of introducing the subject had faded. “A light period about ten days after the last sexual activity could be implantation bleeding.”

Her eyes began to burn and she blinked rapidly to avoid the tears trying to force their way out. Sighing, she fiddled with the paper on her clipboard, turning the thought of pregnancy over in her mind. It was time to face the facts, there had been several symptoms that would fit better with pregnancy than grieving, where she had tried to shove them. Here she'd wanted to simply power her way through this and make everything go back to the way it used to be. If this was true there was no going back. 

If probably wasn't the right word, not when the possibility was strong enough for Hank to mention it in the first place. There was one thing she’d learned from Logan’s heightened senses, “The nose rarely lies.” 

Hank nodded and looked relieved that the tough part was over. Actually, that might have been the toughest part, because now that the idea was taking hold, she felt a shimmer of hope. This could be a way forward that would bring some happiness back into her life. “What now?” she asked. 

“We’ll walk over to the med lab and run a test,” he answered. She followed along, already thinking of all the things that would need to be done if she was pregnant.

* * *

Wandering back into Hank’s lab, Rogue picked up the clipboard she had forgotten earlier. Updating the list didn’t seem so important now, there was another list she needed to start making. Hank had promised to reach out to several associates with had ties to the government, they might be able to find Logan’s old medical records. He thought they would prove useful later on.

She was about to go back to the apartment when it occurred to her that she had better talk to Scott. There would come a point when she would have a hard time tying her own shoes; by then squeezing into tight areas might become a problem too. First stop would be the Danger Room where he’d been building a simulation. 

Checking the kiosk panel for safety precautions, she entered the Danger Room. She’d expected to find Scott examining some aspect of a training simulation. It wasn’t unusual to find him tweaking the programs until they were perfect. Instead, what she walked into was a replay of Logan’s death.

The factory floor lay before her with various pieces of sentinels in different stages of completion. A snikt came from the storeroom on her right followed by an explosion and Logan being thrown out the door and into one of the steel supports on the factory floor. The sound his body made when he hit made her stomach churn. He lay crumpled on the floor at her feet struggling to breathe.

“Logan!” That was Scott’s voice coming from the comms with Hank’s voice in the background. Rogue stared down at Logan. She always remembered him strong and vibrant, but this was him in pain, listless. 

“Fuck,” Logan cursed. His ragged breathing filled her ears as another explosion from the storeroom shot more flames and shook the factory. “Get out,” followed by something unintelligible as the second explosion threw dust in the surrounding air. This was how he died; alone, even though she could hear Scott and Hank running toward the area from the adjacent offices. 

“Tell her I love her,” barely a whisper as the dust particles ignited, setting off the explosion on the factory floor itself. The bright flash and the roof being ripped apart made her step back. The next moment debris began to fall on Logan, covering him as flames flared up around his position. 

Rogue counted the total of her slow deep breaths. Three in all. The simulation halted, and the computer announced, “Subject expired.”

Scott walked through the smoke and flames stopping at the pile of rubble where Logan had been.  He wrinkled up his brow, glancing back and forth between the scene in front of him and the tablet in his hand. There was still something wrong, this shouldn’t have happened. He’d added in the dust from the old furniture factory that might have been present for the particulate explosion. The first blast, what had set it off? What was being stored in that room?

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her, pale and shaken. “Is this how he died?” she mumbled.

“Rogue, I…" He couldn’t finish his train of thought. This was possibly the most callous thing for her to be confronted with just as she was beginning to put her life back together. Sorry wasn’t going to cut it.

“Is it?” she demanded a little louder.

“Yes,” Scott confirmed, stepping toward her. 

“This is what took so long that night. Why Storm joined you?” He simply nodded this time and she could see the sorrow on his face. Not only for her pain but that he had exposed her to this. “Show me?”

Scott hesitated a second before moving the slider on the tablet forward, speeding the simulation up until Storm arrived to put out the fire. Maybe Rogue needed to see this as much as he had, for different reasons of course, but needed to see it to put it all into place. He’d always treated her like a little sister and it was time to stop that, he obviously couldn’t protect her from life. 

The simulation played on as Storm worked to put out the burning rubble that only had ash underneath. It was a remote location, and the security had taken time to organize and move back in. “We couldn’t stay any longer,” he said as the simulation ended. 

She couldn’t blame them. There was no reason to put three people’s lives in jeopardy for a pile of dust. It was just hard to see this, but in a weird way it felt right. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to ever see this.” Scott knew if this were Jean’s death he wouldn’t handle it very well. 

Nodding, she walked around the area. He was a bit of a perfectionist at times so he must have a reason for recreating the scene. “Something went wrong.” It was a statement of the obvious. 

“The explosives,” he said rewinding the simulation. “There are a number of materials that could have caused this, but they needed to be airborne plus a source of ignition.”

“Were there any other deaths? Security?” She was beginning to see what had him puzzled. 

“None, not even the guard that was supposedly in the area.” He started the first part so she could hear the report of a guard followed by the snikt seconds before a metal on metal sound and the first explosion. 

The second sound was odd, but she knew in a fight and over the comms, things didn’t always sound like they should. “A setup?” Rogue asked, wrinkling her brow. “I mean could someone have slipped him the info and used it to set the X-Men up, but Logan spoiled that.”

“It’s a possibility,” he walked around the initial blast area. “I think I need to solve what type of materials were used first.” 

“I’d like to help,” she said. She might need this now more than she thought.

“Are you sure?” Scott asked. “It will take a lot of research and data input.” He didn’t remember research being high on her list when she was in school but then again doing a school report wasn’t as personal as this. 

“Yes, I need to have answers for his child,” she stated before walking through the floor plan of the factory. 

He could only stare. Once he’d told himself that her relationship with Logan would only end in heartbreak. Not that he foresaw this particular conclusion, but in the end she might come out stronger.

* * *

It was an unusual time of the day for the Professor to call a meeting. Although it wasn’t an emergency, it was important that the top-level X-Men be there. Others would be briefed later in the day as school scheduling permitted. Only a few minutes he’d said, then everyone would be released for lunch. She hoped that was true because she was starving.

Rogue filed in with almost a dozen of the X-Men and dutifully took one of the papers being handed around. She was officially on medical leave from the team, but only a handful of people knew it was due to pregnancy. There didn’t ever seem to be an appropriate time to make the announcement. Hank had assured her it could wait a while longer and Jean let her know that most women didn’t reveal the news until well into the first trimester. 

“I’m sorry for the last minute meeting,” the Professor began. He was obviously cutting out the normal pleasantries to make the meeting short. “Earlier this week an old friend became aware of a security report that had been filed with a particular government agency about our Institute. We were able to obtain a copy, hopefully you each have one in hand now.” 

She glanced briefly at the paper in her hand. Not much of a report, she’d done longer book reports. It was a single page of normal font and size. Maybe this was just the cover sheet, she skimmed it quickly and nothing stood out. 

The Professor indicated as much. “This is rather innocuous and discrete inquiries for the remainder of the report are being made.”

Innocuous. Good Rogue thought, she would be gone in minutes to the cafeteria. Tuning out the rest of the talk, her mind turned to meeting with Scott after his last class. They had entered the last of the information into the Danger Room’s database and she wanted to see if it had finished integrating it into the model. 

Smiling, she thought of how he should have been a detective. Scott had gathered all the intel and combed through it, meticulously recreating Logan’s last mission as best possible. He was intent on getting to the bottom of what went wrong. He said it was to prevent any future tragedies, but she knew it was because he needed to understand what he missed, what he could have done to prevent it in the first place.    
Even better, helping Scott brought her a measure of closure. She didn’t like that word. With a baby, Logan’s baby on the way, she would never have closure. Solace, or maybe simple acceptance. That was enough to keep her moving forward. 

* * *

Innocuous was right, painfully so. The report, if it could be called that, made the school sound like the local parochial school. It raised all kinds of red flags in Scott’s mind. He’d seen enough official government reports in his time to know this was it. Oh, there might be a cover letter or some mumbo-jumbo from a high-ranking official. However, this threat assessment report was complete, any other information that accompanied it to make a packet would just be government bullshit paper pushing to cover some agency’s collective ass.  

He read it through carefully again, coming up with nothing a second time. Somehow it felt familiar, not the report itself or the details, those were easily dismissed. It was the style of the writing, almost like he’d picked up a book by an author he knew. 

Zeroing in on the signature, James Howlett didn’t ring a bell, but the handwriting did. He absently wondered aloud, “Rogue, do you-”

“Scott!” Xavier stared at him, at the interruption. 

Looking up, Scott realized he’d forgotten where he was. “Sorry, Sir. But the handwriting,” he said, shaking the paper for emphasis. As he was formulating the rest of his answer, he heard Rogue gasp from across the room. 

“Holy shit! Look at the date.” She could feel the anger rising. If that date was right, it might clear up some of the mystery surrounding Logan’s last mission. 

Glaring over at Scott, she clenched her jaw and bolted from the room. All the files for this were in the Danger Room’s viewing deck. Damn Logan. If this development was what it seemed...well, she best not jump to conclusions while she was starving. 

Scott caught up with her as she exited the cafeteria, her lunch tray in hand. He silently held out a hand for the tray as she stuffed tater tots in her mouth. She handed it over, taking the bottle of water. 

“It’s his handwriting,” she stated, between drinks of water and mouthfuls of food. 

“We’ve been staring at it for two weeks now,” he said, nodding in agreement as the elevator opened to the lower level. “And the date…”

Rogue sighed, they had searches to do, info to add and probably a new theory or two to hash over. There was so much to do and all from one signature and date on one harmless piece of paper. “Uhm… the Professor?” she asked after a second.

“I’m pretty sure he didn’t have to read any minds to know what was happening,” Scott answered as they entered the control room. “He did suggest that we get to the bottom of this and that my classes would be covered for the afternoon.” 

He brought up the simulation they had been working on and with it the files on the monitor. “Third monitor,” she pointed out around a mouthful of chicken sandwich. The sandwich was really good today, probably the pickles, though her eyes had been bigger than her stomach and she pushed the second sandwich toward Scott. 

Scanning in the report, they analyzed the handwriting samples. It quickly confirmed what they suspected, there were a few natural variations but nothing significant. The signature on both pieces was the same writer. Logan had either turned in the report with the wrong date or turned in the report days after he died. 

She was unsure whether to be angry or elated at the news. If the latter were true, that meant Logan was alive and that gave her hope. However, if he was alive that brought up another set of questions about what he’d really been doing at the Institute. Those questions would have to wait as they answered others that had plagued them even longer.

“If he’s not dead, how did he fake it?” Scott asked, watching the simulation running below. “We already figured in the industrial materials. But what set them airborne to begin with?” 

The simulation played again from the beginning as Rogue cataloged it mentally. “Was someone else there? We’ve no evidence of that guard,” she asked, pausing the program. “Cause he released his claws here.”

“What?” Scott looked at her in confusion.

Rogue had kept Logan’s secret while he was alive and it hadn’t occurred to her to tell anyone after his death. Now that his death was in question, any information might help. Swiping through the file on her tablet, she found what she was looking for. Like the report from earlier today, it wasn’t much, but it would be enough of a medical file for an expectant mother and her doctors. Though Hank said they would look at it together when she was ready, she’d glanced through it enough to know it included some needed information. 

“There,” she pointed to the screen at the small picture of Logan’s claws next to a full x-ray of his body.

“Is that metal all over his skeleton?” Scott asked before putting up the written medical report on another monitor. Quickly he skimmed through it looking for the information needed. “It is,” he mumbled. “I think I’ve underestimated his healing by a massive amount.”

He looked over at her and she could see how wide his eyes were even with his glasses on. Rogue knew the questions forming in his mind because she’d been curious enough to ask once after seeing the metal on his face when he was cut on a mission. “We didn’t talk much about it, his memories of it were…, it happened a long time ago.”

She shrugged, shaking her head. It was beginning to feel like she never really knew Logan. Her worries from early on about ulterior motives were coming back to haunt her. The possibility of a faked death, and the report were just the tip of something bigger. 

The tears started to well up, thankfully Scott busied himself inputting data to give her a moment. Part of the tears were hormones, the rest were a mix of emotions she didn’t want to examine right then. Here she was over an hour after leaving the Professor’s office and about to determine whether or not her lover had actually died. 

Void of any feeling, that’s what came to mind as she watched the simulation go through its paces. Explosion, roof collapse, death, followed by a familiar “subject expired”. They waited impatiently for the sequence of events to unfold. Several minutes passed, at the end the computer announced, “Inconclusive. More information needed.”

Slowly Rogue turned to stare at Scott. He blinked several times before asking the computer, “Chance of survivability?”

Without hesitation, the computer answered, “There is a fifty-eight percent chance of survival.”


	11. Chapter 11

It was early, a little too early to be up yet. Anymore Rogue was dead tired at the end of the day and her mind too a buzz to sleep in. She’d been using the extra time to sort out the mystery of Logan’s death. Or non-death to be exact. 

Another week had rolled by and they weren’t any closer to answers. Both she and Scott were convinced Logan had faked his death. There was no other explanation for why the explosions took place. They’d eliminated any other source of ignition, the metal on metal sound was Logan creating the spark with his claws. There had also been no remains, but one glance at his medical report indicated there should’ve been adamantium left even if his body burned. 

Then there was the report with his writing filed days after he died. None of it added up. Why would he fake his death? What was the report about? Scott had exhausted every avenue to find answers on the report and still nothing. 

All Rogue knew anymore was that she’d loved Logan; still did despite everything. He’d been cryptic when he told her that she needed to believe he loved her, no matter what. It was the only true thing left in his life and she didn’t doubt it even now, so there had to be a reason he chose the path he did.

They’d run the new simulation a million times, and it always ended the same way. “Inconclusive. More information needed.” There was no more information to input. Everything they had, even the skimpy medical… They hadn’t followed up on that. 

Rogue dressed as fast as she could and grabbed leftovers from the fridge and her tablet. If she was going to convince Hank to turn over the name of a colleague, she would need facts and some breakfast.

* * *

“This is extensive,” Hank commented, studying the x-rays and small cover sheet that compromised the entirety of Logan’s medical records. “There should be reams of paperwork for the procedure alone.” 

“And his healing factor. We all knew he healed, but this is…” Rogue paused, searching for the right word. 

“Astronomical,” he supplied. “It would have to be for him to have survived this.”

“Or say an explosion and subsequent fire?” she offered helpfully.

“Indeed.” Looking up at her from the tablet, he asked, “You believe him to be alive?”

“It’s a possibility and there are so many questions I have. Being able to talk with someone that might be able to answer those questions or give me a lead to follow, well…” She was almost bouncing, he was considering her request. 

“Please,” she pleaded. Begging would not be out of the question. A backup plan was already being formulated for hacking his email, but she would hate to involve Kitty in this if she didn’t have to. 

“I won’t divulge who sent the file,” Hank said, taking a notepad and writing a name on it. “However, I will give you the name of a world-renowned scientist, who might be of assistance.”

Rogue stared at the paper then at him. “You’re kidding?”

* * *

The lobby was as slick as what Rogue would expect from Tony Stark. Avenger’s Tower was a beacon of advanced technology and she never thought she would be here talking to an Avenger. The X-Men and the Avengers didn’t quite run in the same circles.

A tour group stopped at the receptionist’s desk next to her and she had to smile at all the squirming youngsters. “Miss,” the receptionist said to get Rogue’s attention. “Dr. Banner isn’t here.”

“Do you know when he’ll be back?” she asked. She’d made great time driving into the city, Logan’s old pickup was in excellent shape and was a smooth ride. That didn’t mean she wanted to make a second trip.

The receptionist glanced at her monitor, “I’m sorry ma’am, he’s out of the country.”

“Is there a number I can reach him at?” This definitely wasn’t going the way Rogue had planned. Reality was crashing down on the hope that had been building in her. 

“We’re not allowed to give out that information.” The receptionist gave her a sympathetic smile, “Would you like to leave a message?”

This was something best done in person. Rogue sighed, “No, not today.”

Turning to leave, she had to wait for the area to clear as the tour group was getting pictures with someone. As they were moving on, the kids were prompted to remember their manners. “Thank you, Captain America,” the group said in unison. 

“You’re welcome, kids.” Standing in front of her was Steve Rogers. Rogue could only stare as he smiled at her. Logan had gone for drinks with a Cap and at one point had called him Rogers. Could this be the same man? 

“Captain Rogers… Cap,” she mused. Surely it wasn’t this simple. When one door closes, another one opens. “Friday night with Cap?”

Roger’s forehead wrinkled in confusion for a second. There was only one person he’d had a standing drink order with for years and the woman in front of him would be one of the few people outside of the Avengers that might know that. “Rogue?”

Her heart soared, maybe Cap could provide a few answers. “Do you have a few minutes?”

“I do.” He surveyed the lobby area briefly. “Would you like to grab a coffee?”

Later, seated at one of the little courtyard tables, she finally asked, “Logan wasn’t a maintenance man, was he?” 

“No,” he said, with a smile. “He was handy with tools but he worked for SHIELD. Occasionally he helped the Avengers.”

The Avengers she didn’t think would be interested in the school and they weren’t really a government entity. SHIELD, on the other hand, might fit the bill. So far in their brief conversation, she felt Cap was being cautious in his answers and she didn’t expect much but she had to try. “Why Xavier’s?” she asked. 

“Threat assessment,” he said curtly. Steve really hated this game, and he’d never been good at playing politics. He, too, like Logan before him, was beginning to wonder where his loyalties were where SHIELD was concerned.

Rogue was a little worried about the fact that Cap was using past tense when he referred to Logan, but maybe she hadn’t asked the right questions. “There was a report on the school.”

He only nodded, and she was positive they were coming to an impasse. Cap was unwilling or unable to answer any questions. “It was signed almost a week after his death.”

This was what he’d been afraid of, being left with no answers outside of the truth. Steve Rogers had always prided himself on never telling a lie if he had a choice. In this case, he would have to intentionally lie to this woman to keep a promise to a friend. His best bet was to dissuade her from this pursuit.

Studying her a moment, he saw the determination, the soft accent, the frankness that had drawn Logan to this woman. She wasn’t Logan’s usual type, he’d always gone for the looser women that would be easily forgotten. This woman reminded him ever so slightly of Peggy and in that light, he could see why Logan had done what he had.

“Sometimes things are better left as they are,” he commented. He didn’t think she’d go for it, but it would let her know he wasn’t answering anything more specific. 

Smiling to take a second and squash her anger, she decided to pull out all the stops. It was an emotional plea she had engineered to get more information from Banner. However, sitting across the table from Logan’s old buddy, it just might work better on Cap than the original intended target. 

Opening her bag, she pulled out the slim file she had prepared. It was mainly pictures Jubilee had taken around the mansion, Logan fixing things, Rogue and Logan, his Sunday morning group, and the little memorial some of the students had built outside where he used to smoke his cigars. She could have handed over her tablet, but Rogue knew that people were more responsive holding a hard copy in their hands.

Laying the file on the table in front of him, she said, “If it were just about me, I wouldn’t be here.” Cap began leafing through the pictures. “Logan made a decision I don’t understand, but I’d let him go since that’s obviously what he wants.”

Rogue paused as he came to the end of the file, he picked up the sonogram. “But it’s not only about me.” He examined the picture in his hand and she saw the realization hit him.

“Did he know?” he asked.

She shook her head because her carefully cultivated calm suddenly left her. Clearing her throat twice, she finally found her voice. “No, I’m… I’m only ten weeks along.” She cleared her throat again trying to get rid of the shaking. 

He saw her look away, swiping at her eye with her hand. If Logan had known, Steve was sure he would have chosen a different path. Steve’s own father was gone from his life all too soon as was Logan’s. This child deserved better than either of them had gotten. “You won’t find the story anywhere, SHIELD wants it forgotten. Several things blew up in their faces and they’re happy to see Logan gone.”

“What happened, do you know?” Rogue asked.

Pushing the file back to her, he leaned on the table, his voice low and serious. “SHIELD-Fury was pushing for a covert team to take down the X-Men,” he began. He saw her confusion. “There were rumors of a paramilitary group carrying out death sentences to any that crossed them.”

“The school…” she trailed off. The X-Men never dealt out punishment, they left that to the justice system. They were about helping people, getting information that stopped the bad guys, and the occasional fight but no serious damage. Nothing like the damage the Avengers and their ‘world saving’ adventures. The X-Men were just rumors with few people knowing what they did, and the school had never officially been connected to them.

Cap nodded, “Logan was supposed to get the information to bring this vigilante group to justice.”

“But we don’t…” Rogue couldn’t chance someone connecting the two, especially if Logan had done all this so that the school would remain untouched. 

“Look, I know Logan and I know some of the assignments he accepted to do for SHIELD. More often than not they were starting to fall further past the morally gray area that Logan operated in.” He glanced down at his hands, interlacing his fingers. “The school, you… he didn’t want to leave you and had exceeded his deadline. I think he finally found something that gave him a real purpose. Something above that gray area. He saw no other choice but to protect it and you.”

Rogue didn’t try to swipe at the tears this time but she was proud of the way she kept from letting the sobs out. He’d finally gotten down to telling her the naked truth. Some of those morally gray actions Logan had alluded to but never outright talked about. He’d never been that at the school, with the X-Men, or with her. 

Steve studied her for a second and the small tremor at the corner of her lips. Logan had picked a good woman and he needed her more than she needed him. This woman, their child, might help keep a lid on his feral tendencies, keep him out of the gray area. 

“He’d arranged for me to meet him a couple of miles from the factory. I saw the explosion and went to investigate. I’ve seen him in bad shape before, but this,” he shook his head. “Don’t know how he made it as far as he did.” Steve decided it was best to skip the part about the amount of metal skeleton showing or how his gut would have been hanging out if they had all been there. 

“Got him to a safe house until he was healed up.” He peered up at her, to see how she was doing. She seemed to be taking it in stride. “When he turned in the report, I stood guard outside Fury’s office so their talk, about a few budget items, would remain private.”

“What kind of things?” Rogue was curious as to what kind of information Logan would have that would make an agency like SHIELD accept his report at face value.

“Apparently SHIELD knowingly or unknowingly funded the sentinel program, and with the explosion, the right journalist need only follow a trail that would be laid out for them. Which in turn would lead to other programs they want to keep unnoticed. Logan laid it all out for him, even signed the report right there to make it official. Fury wasn’t too happy at first. Probably still isn’t with his office needing remodeled and those permanent gouges in his desk.”

Speechless and numb. Logan was alive and the nothing report was his attempt to shelter the school and by proxy the X-Men. She wasn’t sure if she should be grateful that he’d done all this to protect them or furious to find out he really had faked his own death. There would be time to figure that out later.

“Do you know where he is now?” It all boiled down to this important question.

“No, ma’am,” Cap said apologetically. He could see how much she loved Logan. She hadn’t gone to all this trouble to seek revenge, but to offer him absolution. “Once or twice he’s worked a fight circuit in Canada when he needed to clear his head.” 


	12. Chapter 12

Rogue stepped into the crowded bar and immediately wished she’d worn something different. A long skirt, tall boots, and a thick sweater; it was the Canadian winter after all and she’d wanted to look sexy when he saw her. However, at that moment she was feeling like an overstuffed sausage and very out of place. 

What was she doing here? Logan had left them. No, Logan had left her. He had told her he loved her, then faked his death and left her alone. She wanted answers from him and damn it, she was going to get them.

Oh Lord, she needed to get a grip on these pregnancy hormones or she was going to have a meltdown. That was something she couldn’t afford now that she was so close. Back at the mansion, Scott had already sunk his teeth into following the trail from the sentinel factory to other projects and had kept her updated on that. She had all the answers she needed, the only thing she needed now was Logan. 

Working her way toward the back where the real crowd was, she could hear the sound of flesh hitting flesh. The crowd cheered at another hit and a body slammed onto the floor. Rogue got close enough to see him through the chain-link fence that made up the fight cage. 

The Wolverine! 

The MC said his bit, stoking the crowd, but her focus had narrowed to Logan. He had his shirt off, sweat glistening on his muscular chest, hair as wild as ever. God, how she wanted to run her hands through his hair, while he devoured her mouth. 

She sighed heavily. It took her a week to track him on the fight circuit. In that time she’d gotten good and worked up over him abandoning her and had practiced exactly how she was going to tell him off, maybe even drop him like a ton of bricks. Seeing him in the cage tossing back his shot sapped all that out of her. All she could think of was how long it had been since he’d made love to her. 

Just a little closer… if she stayed in the mix he wouldn’t see her. Another contender entered the ring. The two circled each other and Logan held back, making a good show of tiring. Rogue recalled this game from his memories. Take a few good punches, throw a weak couple in return, but never stay down. 

The Wolverine knew how to put on a good show and she was enjoying every minute of it. The play of muscle, the smell of liquor, smoke, and sweat. She marveled at the things that could turn her on. 

Then she saw it, Logan’s nostrils flared and he quickly scanned the crowd. A kick to the kidneys and he went down, receiving kicked to the head. Surely he couldn’t smell her, but to be safe, she backed up to the bar.

The bartender eyed her a couple of times over the next hour until she finally ordered water. After plunking down the money for the overpriced bottle, she tried to ignore him. 

“Sweetheart,” the bartender started. Great, Rogue thought here comes the cheesy pickup line or telling her to move along for better paying customers. He handed her the change. “You look like a nice lady. Don’t waste your time, Wolverine don’t do groupies.”

Rogue smiled, a piece of unsolicited advice that actually improved her mood. 

* * *

The snow was coming down in huge flakes so thick Logan could barely see a few feet in front of him. It was a couple of miles to where he left his truck, but not so far he would freeze to death before he got there. He’d learned early on not to leave his vehicle within easy reach of a sore loser. 

Tonight’s fights had paid well enough; he might move on to the next stop in the circuit. He shook his head. He’d stayed too long, already he was starting to see things. Smell things was more like it. 

He always saw things. Nice ass, same color of hair minus the streak, lush lips, but never all of it in the same package. This time, though, in the middle of the fights, he would have sworn he smelled Marie. Sweet and tantalizing in the smoky air. That had never happened before. He’d searched the crowd, almost getting his ass handed to him in the process. 

The fragrance lingered all evening, tickling his nose. He’d even stayed after the fights to try and track down the scent to no avail. It was definitely time to move on. 

An old pickup passed him and pulled over on the wide shoulder of the road. It sounded like the one he’d left at Xavier’s. Hearing things this time. That old truck was a dime a dozen, plenty of them were still on the road; that was the reason he’d picked it in the first place.

He wouldn’t normally take a ride, but the sooner he put all of this behind him the better. Besides, he was far enough from the bar that it was unlikely to be someone from there. As he approached the bed of the truck, he heard it being put into park and the passenger’s door swung open.

Logan had a foot on the floorboard before the warm air hit him followed by the scent. Hesitating a moment he slid into the seat and shut the door. There was no reason to avoid this, all his careful planning came to naught. Should have hopped that freighter if he’d never really wanted to be found. 

They sat quietly staring out the windshield, the only noise the idle of the engine and their breathing. Marie’s scent had changed subtly since he’d seen her last, probably why he’d had problems pinning her down in the bar. Something tickled in the back of his mind, but he dismissed it, he’d missed her too much and his mind was playing tricks.

There was nothing he could say to soften any of what he’d done. He’d fucked up what he’d had with her and it didn’t matter the reasons. There were too many lies between them to put things back together. Knowing what she obviously knew, he was surprised she’d come looking for him.

“It’s been a while,” she stated. He nodded, her voice was tightly controlled, and he wanted her to touch him and put him out of his misery. In all his remembered time, women had come and gone, and not one had meant so much to him as Marie. He’d hoped she would mourn him and move on. Find someone worthy of her, a relationship not based on lies. 

Rogue sighed. Another carefully scripted speech gone. She had no animosity toward him. She may have been angry and confused when she discovered the truth, but this was Logan and despite everything she loved him, the man he’d always been underneath all the lies. He deserved to know about the baby and make a decision about whether he wanted to be part of their future. 

Shutting off the engine, she turned in the seat. “I know everything,” she paused, that was a lie, and she didn’t want to start with a lie. “Or at least I know the important parts.”

She scooted close enough to brush the melted snow from his hair. He caught her hand, drawing her closer still, only wanting her next to him. There was no resistance as she slid across the vinyl bench seat to him. 

“I’m not the man you thought.” He’d betrayed her trust in him and he couldn’t think of one reason she should show him any kindness. 

“Yes and no.” He had lied about being a maintenance man, that was true, and she’d said as much. “Do you love me or was that a lie?”

“No! I’d never lie about that.” He couldn’t have, even under torture. “I do love you, ain’t no one but you, Marie. And I don’t expect you to understand what I did.”

She wouldn’t let him pull away. “I saw the report and you’re more of an honorable man than I thought.” Leaning in, she placed a quick kiss on his sideburn. “I get why you didn’t come to me...us. Trust is hard when it’s not based on fact, but I do know I can trust my heart to you.”

He looked at her skeptically and she moved slowly, afraid he might bolt from her again. Rogue brushed her lips across his, they were warm and inviting. He eagerly opened his mouth for her as she threaded her fingers through his hair. These simple touches, his proximity to her, was making the heat build between her thighs. She knew what he could do for her, how he could make this up to her. 

Logan didn’t deserve a second chance. When he left her, it had been the hardest thing he’d ever done. There was to be no turning back, no reprieve from his exile. Yet here she was, holding a penance he didn’t deserve out to him.

While at Xavier’s, more specifically when he was with Marie, he saw a future for himself. Something more than getting through one assignment and waiting for the next. The last three months since leaving, however, had been an exercise in trying to make it through the day.

He tried to slow her down and savor the moment. Not far away there was a bed waiting where he could take his time undressing her, kissing every inch of her body. But she’d already pulled up her skirt and straddled his legs, making him hard at the thought of what she wanted. 

Pushing up her sweater, he ran his thumbs over her breasts. He heard her gasp, and she began to frantically unbuckle his belt. It had been a while, but he didn’t remember her breasts being quite that sensitive. He took full advantage of it and slipped the lace of her bra down so he could graze his teeth across a nipple.

Rogue pulled away long enough to free his cock, then tugged her panties out of the way. Slicking his member on her wetness, she settled down on it. “Oh god, Logan, it’s been too long.” Her hair hung around his face, making him focus on her.

His hands trembled on her body as he caressed her. “You feel so good.” He captured her lips, swallowing her moan as he began to thrust upward. She was right, it had been too long, and he knew neither of them would last. Her hands on his shoulders were shaking, and she was making small noises in the back of her throat. 

She ground down on him, ignoring the bite of his buckle and zipper on her inner thigh. Everywhere he touched was on fire, her whole body hypersensitive to his. His tongue swirled around her nipple and she fell apart, quivering as he came.

Logan rested his head on the back glass of the cab, breathing almost back to normal. She was still astride him, quietly nuzzling his neck. He ran his hands down her sides and over the slight swell of her belly. All the little oddities clicked into place. 

“Boy or girl?” he asked. Listening very carefully he thought he could hear a faint swishing of a heartbeat that didn’t belong to Marie.

Rogue stopped, damn him and his heightened senses. She smiled into his neck, at least his voice sounded hopeful. “Hank says we’ll have to wait until sixteen weeks to find out for sure.”

He rested a hand on her belly, way too soon for him to feel movement. “Where do we go from here?”

Sitting up, she took his face in her hands. “Do you want to be a part of this?”

He didn’t hesitate, “More than anything.” Not an hour ago he’d thought she was lost to him and he didn’t want to give up a second chance without a fight. The doubts lingered though. “I’ve burned a lot of bridges, might not have much to offer you.”

Rogue kissed him. “We’ll think of something.” She laughed, peering down at him. “Mr. Jean Grey says we are welcome back at the school, he can smooth it over.” 

“Huh, I keep underestimating your fearless leader.” Logan held her tight, maybe it was time he started trusting someone besides himself. Maybe, just maybe he could start making amends where it really mattered and build up a life worthy of Marie and their child. 


End file.
